Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My 44th Birthday

I can't believe I'm 44 today!! You know 44 doesn't feel that old but now I'm on my way to 50! Wow! Where does the time go?! What a great birthday present it would be to hear that we have a daughter. But that's not going to happen today. The last set of referrals came in earlier this month and now we have 26 groups of people ahead of us. In a few weeks we'll have been waiting for 24 months! I never would have thought that we would still be waiting at this time when we submitted our paperwork. Sometimes it seems like we've been waiting forever and other times it seems like it couldn't be that long already. I guess we just go on with our daily lives and time does pass fairly quickly.
So today being my birthday and still not being a mother makes me long for it even more, and wondering how many more birthdays, mother's days, father's days, and Christmases will go by before we have our little girl. It's so hard for me not to buy things for Marisa. My best friend, Brenda, will give us things for Marisa periodically and it is so much fun to get those things but it makes me miss Marisa even more. Can you miss someone you haven't met yet? Marisa has been growing in my heart for over 2 years now, so I guess until I hold that little girl in my arms I guess I can miss her.
This summer I am not babysitting for the neighbor's little girl, since our neighbor is a teacher and off for the summer. I think it really helped to watch her little girl because it occupied my time and I was learning about a little one. Now I seem to think about Marisa more since I don't have a little one to keep me so occupied.
So how am I spending my day today....I did some laundry and hung it out on the line, I spent some time in my flower beds and garden, pulled weeds, picked beans and peas (from my garden), pulled up some onions, spent some time going through past emails, and plan to do some scrapbooking and reading later today. Ron and I are going to go to Cook's Pizza for dinner -- one of my favorite little diners. Love their pizza!! Last night we went to Ron's parents and his mom made me a yummy dinner. I ate too much because it was all so good!

Lately I've been reading more on "living green". We are such a wasteful society. We don't fix or have things fixed anymore because many times it's cheaper to buy another new. Well, I really feel like we aren't serving God by being so wasteful. I have become more conscious of the waste I do have and have really tried to minimize. I am careful about the paper products we use -- not using as much. We've recycled for a while now but being more aware and seeing what other things can be recycled or reusing things. The other thing I am looking at is all the "stuff" we have. Do we really need all of this "stuff"? And why is it so hard to get rid of the "stuff"? I really would like to minimize and not have so much stuff. I am trying to be aware of what we already have and when I come across something that I think I would like to have, I consider why I want it and do I really want to add it to our other accumulated "stuff". Maybe it is just getting older that makes me think this way, but I do want my daughter to grow up respecting her environment and taking steps to not add to the pollution and waste that are so much a part of our world. I want her to love this earth that God has given us and learn to do her part to take care of it. We are taking small steps. There is more that we can do and step by step we'll continue to do more. If everyone takes small steps it will make a huge impact, more than I think we realize.