The Way We Roll

Home for a little over a week

2010-07-12T23:41:00.000-04:00

On the one hand it seems hard to believe that it's been only 10 days that we've been home and on the other hand it seems like we've been home for a lot longer than that. It is strange and unreal to look back and think we spent two weeks in China! I would've never thought I would end up there in my lifetime.

Marisa is slowly adjusting. She is doing better each day with Ron and I. We knew it would be more difficult to adopt a toddler and we read about it but until you live it, you can't really know what it is going to be like. I can understand why it's so important to limit visitors and activities in these first weeks that we're home. Last week I think we had too many new people stopping by to see Marisa and too many new situations. Marisa seems to do fine when people are visiting but it's later at night that she then can't seem to settle down and be comforted. She'd wake up screaming every hour, or less, and it was really difficult to calm her down, if we even could - sometimes nothing worked. Plus last week we also had to go to Riley Children's Hospital to check up on her PKU and learn a little more about what we are to do with her diet. It was a 4 hour appointment and that doesn't count the long drive down to Indianapolis and back. We met with a nurse, two dieticians, the doctor, and then Marisa had to have 5 vials of blood drawn. So the day was a very stressful day for her.

This weekend we played it really low key. Ron did have to work till early afternoon on Saturday but otherwise it was just a family day the rest of Saturday and all of Sunday. Sunday was such a good day for us and the night was better. Marisa would still wake up but without the screaming. It was something we needed and continue to need is that family time with just the three of us so we can figure out who we are as a family. I'm still figuring out our routine during the day so it's very nice for it to be just Marisa and I. Plus we are limiting our usual activities and not attending everything just so Marisa isn't overwhelmed by it all. With neither Marisa or I getting much sleep at night, it is helpful to keep our days low key and be able to put her down for a nap. I know family and friends are very anxious about meeting or spending more time with Marisa but it will happen. It just can't happen in these first several weeks. We would just really appreciate everyone's patience and understanding as we continue to get to know our daughter and her needs. We want only what is best for her. There will be lots of time for family and friends in the months to come. It's not like anyone is missing out on much right now with her. We need that alone time with her so we don't miss out on anything with her and can continue to build that attachment to her and her with us. That is just so important and it's not something that's going to happen in a few days or weeks.

We continue to ask for prayers as we all make the adjustment to our new life. And please be patient with our decisions as we try to make the needed adjustments in our life.

Back at home!

2010-07-04T16:04:00.000-04:00

We are home!! We made it home on Friday, July 2 about 6 pm. We flew out of Hong Kong about 9 am Friday morning, China time (that would've been 9 pm Thursday here at home). We got up early and had checked out of the hotel in Hong Kong by 6:20 and had hoped to get on that shuttle to the airport but the shuttle was full. And there were some pushy people that wanted to get on so we just decided to wait 20 minutes for the next shuttle. It was good we didn't decide to get up any later. We had lines to stand in to get our boarding passes and check our luggage. Then we had to go through security, another long line. Then we found our gate. We had kind of a long way to walk to get to our gate. Once we got to our gate we didn't have that long to wait until they started boarding the plane. It's been interesting how other countries board their planes. They don't give any special priority to families with young children like they do here in the states. So we just board with everyone else.

Let me go back a little and tell a little about our day in Hong Kong. We took the train from Guangzhou to Hong Kong on Thursday morning. Our guide arranged a driver for us and she went along and helped us get checked in at the train station. We had a little bit of a wait there. Once we went through security our guide could no longer go with us. And there were three of us families that were taking the train to Hong Kong. It was nice to be traveling with people we knew. I think our guide, Veronica, had become quite attached to Marisa. And I guess we were kind of attached to her since we were with her for most of the trip. She was a wonderful guide. It was kind of sad to say good bye to her but we have her email address and she wants us to keep in touch and send pictures. The train ride wasn't bad. It took about 2 hours to get to Hong Kong. Once we got to Hong Kong and got our luggage, each family got a taxi and we headed to our hotel near the airport which was about an hour away from the train station, I think.

It was so strange we had to turn in our departure slip at the train station saying we were leaving China. I guess, Hong Kong isn't considered part of China?? (On our flight arriving in China we had to fill out an arrival to China slip and turn it in with information about us and how long we were staying, and why we were there.) And Hong Kong uses different money than China. So we had to exchange the China money for the Hong Kong money. There was an exchange place right in the train station. I think Hong Kong was governed by the British government at one time and so they drive on the opposite side of the road and people drive the cars from the right side instead of the left.

The hotel was pretty modern and nice. We had a room on the 8th floor. When we got to the 8th floor it seemed like we had to walk forever down the hall till we got to our room. We decided not to venture out and just eat at the hotel. They have a couple different restaurants in the hotel. The one we ate at had a buffet or you could order off the menu. We decided to eat off the buffet. Wow! It was expensive. It was like $600 Hong Kong dollars! Doesn't that sound incredible?! That was something we had to get used to in China when our dinner bill would come to like $182 RMB - which is actually around $27 which is a normal amount to spend on dinner. But the $600 Hong Kong dollars was like $85!! What an expensive lunch!!!  I'm not sure what we paid for the room! In all the hotels we stayed at in China there were two beds that were a little bigger than a twin but smaller than a double bed. So Ron and I would each take a bed. But here in Hong Kong we had a king-size bed and the bed was softer than what we had in China. And here when we asked for a crib, they brought a nice pack-n-play for Marisa to sleep in. We spent the day in our room because we were tired and didn't really feel like going out and about.  It would have been a nice opportunity to see Hong Kong but by this point I think we were just tired and ready to be home and tired of the whole traveling thing. Marisa played, I fell asleep and then Marisa fell asleep on the bed by me. We decided to order room service for dinner which we knew would be expensive but decided to do it anyway since we didn't feel like going out. We got to bed at a decent time so we could get up early.

The flight home even though it was long was't too bad otherwise. This plane had three rows of three seats. So we were in the center row and it was nice to have the row to ourselves and Ron and I each to have an aisle seat so we could get up if we needed to. Plus we were in the very last row of the plane and there were two bathrooms in the back - one on Ron's side and one on mine. The bathrooms were also a little bigger than what we had experienced on previous flights so it made it nice when we had to take Marisa in. She did quite well on the flight. I had taken some food for her and her formula in my carry on and no one said anything at the security check points.  I didn't make up the formula ahead of time in case they would not let me take it on the plane. It worked out okay mixing her formula on the plane. We had ordered her a vegetarian meal but she still couldn't eat a whole lot from it. So we supplemented her meals with stuff I had packed or if there were any fruits or veggies in our meals she could have that.  It worked out nicely because they would pass out the special request meals first, so we could get Marisa fed before our meals came. But Marisa's body seemed to operate on China time.  Around 12 noon or so (China time) she fell asleep and napped for a couple of hours. Then what would have been about 8 pm China time or a little later she fell asleep again but could only sleep till about 12 because our flight landed and she woke up as we're going through security and stuff at the airport. On this flight we each had our own personal tv screen in back of the seat in front of us. You could choose if you wanted to watch a movie, tv episodes, or play a game. But they were having trouble with the screens because they would freeze up, as Ron's did and there was nothing that could be done. Finally they made a general announcement that they were going to shut the system down and reboot it and no one could use it for about a half hour. Later Ron was using it again and his screen froze up - I think it was the game he playing. What was interesting too, is that you could bring up a map of the flight and see where we were at and the route we were taking. (Actually many of the flights we were on had a map on a screen so you could see the flight route and where we were on that route.) On the way home we flew up through China and the Artic Circle. I don't think we flew directly over the north pole but we were near there.  Then we flew over Alaska and Canada and then made our way down over Michigan to Detroit. So coming home we had no darkness just like when we flew over to China we were chasing the sun and it didn't set until we were in Tokyo or soon thereafter. Ron and I didn't sleep really on the long flight - maybe dozed off a little but nothing much. It was funny because after we boarded the plane to South Bend, we all three were out almost right away even before the plane took off because we had to wait on the runway a little for our turn to take off.

When we got off the plane in Detroit we had to go through immigration for Marisa. We had a brown envelope filled with papers that we had to give to the immigration official and we were told we could not open this envelope when we got it. They looked through the paper work and stamped her visa. She's officially a US citizen! Then we had to claim our luggage, go through customs, and then check our luggage in. We found our gate and sat and waited for a couple of hours for the flight to South Bend. I told Ron I was a little nervous because the plane we were on was a little turbo prop plane with only 11 rows of seats on it - 3 across!!  But it was fine and the shortest flight we had for the entire trip! It was only like 30 minutes or a little bit more! It's so crazy to think how much flying we actually did on this trip - not only over to China but through China as well. Glad I'm not afraid to fly!

At South Bend Ron's parents were there to pick us up, as well as Karen & Denny (Ron's sister and husband), Steve & Ramona (Ron's brother and wife), and Nicki - Andrew's girlfriend (Andrew is Ron's nephew).  Actually Andrew was flying in as well (from New Orleans) and originally his flight was supposed to get in 5 minutes before our's and he was going to surprise us! But his flight ended up getting delayed for 2 hours. He was disappointed but he'll be in the area for a few days so he's hoping to stop in so he can meet his cousin, Marisa! My parents and sister Ruby were waiting at the house for us. Ron's parents brought us home and stayed for a little bit. Marisa let Grandma Huber give her a kiss, she let Grandma Hochstedler hold her a little, and she pulled grass up and gave it to Grandpa Hochstedler.  So she met a lot of the family but still has another Aunt and Uncle to meet and cousins. She did okay around everyone. She likes being the center of attention.

When we first walked into the house, Zoe (our cat) was right there to greet us. Zoe really missed us as we could tell by all the attention she wanted from us. Zoe was the first thing Marisa saw when we walked in and she was so excited! And she kept saying "meow" like she did when she saw her picture. Zoe actually did okay with her. Later we took Marisa outside barefoot and she seemed to really like walking on the grass barefoot and I wasn't sure if this was her first time or not by the way she acted. We walked to the back yard and the neighbor dog came up to the fence like he usually does so we can reach over and pet him.  Marisa was excited to see him but a little afraid, I think, because he was so big.  The dogs she's seen on the streets of China were small dogs.  I had also set out a little tea set I had gotten from one of my cousins at a shower. She played with that and pretended to pour tea from the teapot into the cups. It was cute to watch.

So our first evening at home consisted of eating dinner, unpacking a little, and going to bed. Marisa had some trouble being put down. And then in the night she woke up and she couldn't be quieted down. Ron and I took turns and it took like 2 hours till we could get her settled down and she slept some more. We slept in quite a while then.  It was probably noon or 1 pm till we got up. So our day was messed up but we figured we'd sleep as we needed it and then on Sunday try to get back to a little more normal schedule. Marisa played with some of her new toys today, and took a nap with daddy.   Later getting her to bed wasn't much of a problem but once again she's up now (after 3 am) and she's crying and we can't seem to help her settle down. I don't know if she's scared or having bad dreams. It's so hard when you don't know what's going on in her head.

Well, I am finally finishing this post - 12 hours later. Marisa was having a hard time all night. I don't know if her internal clock is messed up with the time change or what. She hardly slept until about 7 this morning she finally settled down and slept until about noon when Ron got her up. Since she settled down about 7 am it makes me wonder if her internal clock is still on China time because that would have been 7 pm in China. Or is that she doesn't like the dark and felt better once it was light out so then she fell asleep. It is so hard to tell. So needless to say I was up with her and didn't get much sleep until she finally went to sleep. I was hoping at least Ron would be able to sleep and he did get more sleep than I did but I think he still would wake up when he'd hear Marisa cry. It's amazing how when we didn't have a child we'd sleep through about anything, now Marisa can be kinda restless and make one little peep and we hear her. We've decided not to have her nap today in hopes that then by this evening she'll be so tired she'll fall asleep. I guess we can at least hope. Ron will be going back to work on Tuesday so I hope we can get her to sleep better so he can at least get some decent sleep then as well.

next stop Hong Kong, then home!

2010-06-30T10:12:00.001-04:00

We're packed and almost ready for bed. Got to have our bags packed and ready to go by 6 am and also ready to go to breakfast by then. Then we'll check out and be ready to head out by 7 am. I guess it takes about an hour to get to the train station. I think our train leaves for Hong Kong at 9 am. There will be at least one other family traveling with us if not two. The train ride will be a couple of hours. Not sure what we'll do in Hong Kong. We may venture out or just relax in our room -- I guess we'll see when tomorrow comes. I think we fly out of Hong Kong on Friday at around 9 am.

The families that we are with have also expressed they are ready to go home. Praying for a safe trip home for us all. We came here as couples or smaller families and are leaving with new additions and changes to our lives and our little ones' lives forever. We've made some new friendships, people we would've never met had we not come to China. All of this has been an experience we will never forget -- the journey to our daughter Marisa, a dream finally come true. Who knows what else God has in store for us.

Thanks to all our families and friends for all the support and prayers. See you soon! We love you all!

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last day in Guangzhou

2010-06-30T04:49:00.001-04:00

Well, today is our last day in Guangzhou. It was a nice day again today. Well, I guess it's sunny is what I mean by nice. It's very humid but it was nicer to walk around the island when it's not raining. We stopped in a few shops today but things tend to be made cheaply and in some places things are kind of dirty and you can tell they have had some of the things in their shop for a long time. So we didn't purchase a whole lot of things. After breakfast we walked around the island for awhile and got some lunch and then came back to the hotel. We put Marisa down for a nap and she slept for a couple of hours. We've had to wake her up from her naps because she sleeps so long. I don't know how long she'd sleep if we'd let her. We packed as much as we could while she was sleeping. I just didn't want to be up late packing things. I don't know how early we'll have to be ready tomorrow morning. And I don't know how long it takes to get to the train station.

After we got Marisa up, Ron held her for awhile and then she wanted to come to me and wanted me to hold her for awhile. That hasn't really happened before and was nice that she wanted that. When we give her kisses she doesn't always pull away anymore. She kind of acts like she doesn't like it but smiles and laughs when we do it. Just a little bit ago Marisa and I were playing with some stickers. I'd pull them off the sheet and she'd put them on her coloring book. Then she found her crayons and was coloring a little. Now she is taking her crayons out of the box and putting them back in. I don't know how long she could do that but it seems for a while. It's so fun to watch her. She's also been looking at the pictures we brought of her grandpas and grandmas, her aunts and uncles, and her cousins. There are some pictures of herself too, that she likes looking at.

So this is our last night in Guangzhou and tomorrow we'll head for Hong Kong and spend the day and night there. We'll be leaving Hong Kong on Friday morning (Thursday night for those of you at home). We're ready. We hope Marisa is too. Depending on what kind of fees the Hong Kong hotel charges for internet service we may not connect. So if you don't hear from us tomorrow, I'll try to post soon after we get home. I wonder how the jet lag will be. It didn't seem that bad once we got here but don't know how it will be going back home. Please pray for a safe trip to Hong Kong and safe trip home to the States. Also, pray for Marisa to do well on the long flight.

Thanks for following our journey and we hope to see you soon!

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finishing another day

2010-06-29T09:51:00.001-04:00

I had posted earlier today, but since everyone else is in bed now I thought I'd post a few thoughts from the day. It's interesting how early I feel like going to bed since I've been here. Ron and I are both usually tired by the time we put Marisa down at about 8 pm and then we're ready to go to sleep soon after. I guess when we're at home there's always more to do but here there's nothing so I just go to bed.

We went to the American Consulate this afternoon to take an oath on behalf of our adopted children that the information that was given to immigration was accurate and true to the best of our knowledge. There was a room full of parents with the children they had adopted. It didn't take very long but long enough when you have small children.

Marisa had been able to take a nap so I suppose that helped some. After we got back to the hotel we made dinner plans. Ron and I decided to go with a Papa John's pizza but since Marisa can't have that we had to get some rice and broccoli for her. It's pretty sad to see your child get excited when her daddy walks into the room with a bag and she knows it's dinner! Soon we'll be home and that will change.

Marisa is such a little character. She can find small things to amuse herself with. She discovered the signs you hang on the door knob outside your door -- Do Not Disturb and Please Make Up Room. So she was playing with those and I was showing her how she could hang it over the door knob. She loves to tear paper and she can do that for a long time. She will tear it into such tiny little pieces and then she wants to put them in our hand. She was pushing her stroller around the little that she could here in the hotel room. I put her stuffed animals in it so she could push those around. She put a bag on top of them, I don't know if it was supposed to be like a blanket or what. Then I was writing out our email address on small paper so we could give them to the others in our group, and she comes to me with a card I had given her and she would point to different places on the card and want me to write on it. Later this evening she got my shoes and put them on and was trying to walk around in them. When she takes her shoes off, she will put them by our shoes. It's just so fun to watch her play because she can come up with things on her own so easily. And she is just so curious about stuff that that makes it fun to watch her as well.

Tonight we had a hard time getting her to sleep. Last night we had some trouble but tonight was the worst it's been since she's been with us. She just cried and cried and tries to find an excuse for us to get her out of bed, like she'll say she has to go to the potty when she just went. It's really hard to hear her cry so hard and not know what to do for her. I did hold her for a while and her crying subsided some but when I put her back in her crib it started again. I think she didn't want to go to sleep. I don't know what she's thinking and if this is part of her grieving? I just hope she can get past it soon because it is so hard to see her cry like that and not be able to comfort her. She did finally fall asleep but she probably spent over a half hour crying.

Well, tomorrow is our last full day here. We may go to some of the other little shops nearby. Maybe it will be a nice day again tomorrow. I will also need to spend some time packing so that we can be ready bright and early on Thursday morning to head to the train station.

Good night but I guess for those of you back home it's Good Morning!

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Marisa playing

2010-06-29T01:23:00.001-04:00

We were in the playroom at the hotel last night and she found this doodle bug thing. She was really concentrating on her writing and had to get a real close look. She tends to make dots rather than scribble. Not sure what's up with that. :)

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some more pictures

2010-06-29T01:20:00.000-04:00

She loves wearing daddy's hat. Why doesn't she like wearing the hat I have for her?

Found out she likes jello!

Marisa likes to sleep in her crib. We just got a new one because the one she had the bottom fell out twice while she was in it! The new one is a little bit longer so she has more room to stretch out. She doesn't want to lay in our bed, she wants to be in her own bed.

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some pictures

2010-06-29T01:17:00.001-04:00

Marisa seems to like to be silly. Here are pictures of her wearing her skort as a hat!

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sunny day in Guangzhou

2010-06-29T01:08:00.000-04:00

Finally we have a sunny day here in Guangzhou. It's been hard to get out and walk around when it's been rainy, and everything's wet and muddy. When I say it's hard, just hard for us to want to go out with a little one and walk around because you're trying to maneuver the stroller and umbrellas. So it's almost easier to stay in. So the days are kind of long.

Yesterday was a long day without much happening. After breakfast we had come back to the room and played with Marisa until her nap time. We really have not been able to keep her nap time until yesterday. So she was not very happy about having to go down for a nap. She slept for a couple of hours and then we went shopping for a little Chinese dress for her for the picture we were going to be taking on the red couch later in the afternoon. Our guide had a photographer come and take pictures of our group's little adopted ones sitting on the "red couch". Actually we found out there isn't a "red couch", but there are several red couches. We also had a photo taken of the whole group. Those taken by the photographer are a gift from our guide. Those will be nice to have. Marisa kept pulling up her dress. I really like having her in a dress but she seems to just pull it up. I guess I need to make sure all the dresses I have, have matching bloomers! In the evening some of the families in our group went with the guide to a Chinese restaurant within walking distance from the hotel. I ended up not eating that much. Marisa really liked the green beans and she ate the whole little bowl of rice that they brought for her. She eats rice but hasn't eaten that much at one time since we've had her with us. There was a cat walking around the restaurant. Doesn't that kind of make you a little sick?! Because the cat didn't necessarily look that healthy. I was trying to take Marisa to the bathroom but she saw the kitty and wanted to go up to it. She went up to it and put her hand out to it, and the cat didn't run away. It just sat there and closed its eyes. Marisa did actually take hold of it's ear and I made her let go. I didn't want her to hurt the cat and I also didn't want her to touch the cat because we know nothing about the cat. The reason the cat could get in was because the restaurant was open in the front and they also have outdoor seating so if people go in and out that door or leave that door open accidentally, it could get in. Needless to say, I tried to take Marisa to the bathroom but they only had the squatty potties and she doesn't like those and I can't seem to hold her over it correctly anyway without her peeing on her clothes for some reason. You just never know what kind of toilet you'll find when you go to the restroom. Sometimes they have both the squatty potty and the stool and other times there is only one or the other. And you can't count on their being toilet paper available either, so we always carry some.

Well, since I didn't eat much for dinner. We ended up calling our guide and she ordered some McDonald's for us. They deliver to the hotel but the hotel won't allow them to bring it inside, so you have to wait outside for it. I can't remember if I posted before that they deliver on bikes. So we had some McDonald's. It tastes pretty much the same as in the states.

Yesterday was kind of a trying day. Marisa is now testing her boundaries with us. We have had to be more firm with her in our expectations and of course that doesn't make for a happy little girl. Going down for a nap and going to bed have now been a little more difficult. When she's happy she's very happy and such a sweet little girl but she can be very stubborn and want things her way in her time. After she has her meltdown and she can stop crying she does usually comply. I'm sure if she was with a foster family in which the foster parents were older she was probably allowed to have her own way more. And if the nannies at the orphanage really liked her like they told us, I'm sure they let her get away with more. So that makes our job a little more difficult but I guess that's part of parenting. She'll learn her boundaries soon enough. I think she knows that her mommy and daddy still love her even if she can't have her way all the time. And she can get past her stubbornness and be her sweet self.

Today after breakfast we got out for awhile since it was nice and sunny. It was very hot and humid but it was nice that it wasn't raining. We went into a couple of little shops here and picked up just a couple of things. We might go out again later to look in some other shops. We saw some school children out with their teacher doing some exercises. I think we'd heard that kids are in school till the beginning of July. So I think they're almost done. Then later this afternoon we go for an oath swearing ceremony with our adopted children. Yesterday our guide, Veronica, took all of our paperwork to the American Consulate in the morning and we should be able to pick up our child's visa tomorrow afternoon. Well, actually I think Veronica will pick them up and hand them out to us.

Then on Thursday morning we head out on a train to Hong Kong. I guess the train station is a fair distance from the airport hotel that we'll be staying at. I think we have to get our own taxi to get to the hotel. Our guide will not be going with us to Hong Kong. I think all of the families in our group are flying out of Hong Kong but going to Hong Kong at different times from here. I think one family leaves tomorrow afternoon. We and another family or two will be leaving Thursday morning and the last family will be leaving here for Hong Kong on Thursday evening. We will fly out of Hong Kong on Friday morning. I'm not sure when the other families fly out. I will be so ready to be home and hope and pray that the flight home will go well. When we get to the Detroit airport we'll have to go through immigration because of Marisa. I didn't even think about that.

So still a few things to do and then soon we'll be on our way home. I'm ready to get into a regular routine and help Marisa adjust to it.

The picture is of Marisa in her little traditional Chinese dress. The other picture is of Marisa trying to put on her sandals. She likes to try to put them on herself.

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another day comes to an end

2010-06-27T09:23:00.001-04:00

So another day comes to an end. It is hard to believe still, that this sweet little girl is our daughter and she will be coming home with us. I suppose once we are home it will be very real. This is what we have prayed about and worked on for so long and it has finally happened. I am excited for those of you waiting for us to meet Marisa YiChen. She is such a sweet little girl. And you think about a 2 1/2 year old having to go through what she has gone through (being with her birth mom, being in an orphanage, then living with a foster family, and then back to the orphanage and now with her forever family), I am just amazed at her resiliency. Would we be able to handle that many changes in 2 1/2 years?

It seems Marisa is really adjusting well to us. I believe she is feeling like she can trust us. Even though she seems to be daddy's girl, she has been coming to me more lately. She picks up on the routines we've established here in China. She knows when we come back to the hotel room we kick of our shoes, and she's ready to take them off. She knows when we eat she puts on her bib. She knows when I give her a bottle at night she goes to bed afterwards. She went to the crib tonight after I gave her her bottle. It just amazes me how quickly she picks up on things.

I brought a small bottle of bubbles along and got it out this afternoon. I was blowing bubbles and she loved it! She had such a high shrill excited squeal it hurt our ears. And she didn't just squeal once! It is fun to give her those new experiences. To be a part of those fun new experiences she's having is such a joy because it is so fun for her. She just seems to fully enjoy life and it's so fun to watch. She's so curious and just wants to experience it all it seems.

We have felt so blessed that she will go into her crib and not fuss. She will go to sleep on her own and sleep through the night except for waking up early and not going back to sleep the past couple of mornings. I hope that doesn't continue. I suppose it's fine if she can get her nap in the afternoon but if we have to be out and about it's hard if not impossible for her to get a nap unless she just falls asleep like she has a couple of times. I know there could still be some grieving that she may experience. We just haven't had any serious meltdowns or crying spells where she couldn't be soothed except for the first day when we met her. I know God is with us and has really helped with this transition. I know He'll continue to help with any grieving that Marisa may go through and will help us to know how to help her go through that. I just wonder if she will experience any of that once we leave China and we are in a totally different country and she won't see Chinese people every day but instead American. I just hope it won't be a difficult adjustment for her.

It's a little after 9 pm here on Sunday night and I am so tired and ready to go to bed. For those that know me, you know that doesn't sound like me. I haven't been much of a night owl since we've been in China. Whether it's the emotional drain, or taking care of a toddler all day, I don't know. I just know we've been going to bed much earlier than we did at home. And I'm actually able to sleep pretty well on the hard bed. :) I guess when you're tired enough you can sleep on whatever.

A funny thing here in China is that McDonald's and KFC deliver! We were walking back to the hotel and a Papa John's delivery guy went buzzing past us to the hotel, but get this he wasn't in a car - he was on a bike! We had seen a McDonald's delivery guy on a bike earlier when we left the hotel. I just get a kick out of seeing that. Who would think that McDonald's or KFC would deliver? Do you think that would ever work in the states?

I can't wait for those of you back home to meet Marisa. The orphanage described her as an extrovert and I'd definitely have to agree. I'm sure you will all get to see that in time if not right away.

Well, it's time for bed. I'll post more tomorrow and sorry for no pictures tonight, but will try tomorrow since I should have plenty of time.

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Our Sunday in Guangzhou

2010-06-27T03:57:00.001-04:00

This morning we were up early again. Little Marisa went down fine last night and seemed to go to sleep quickly but then she's up at 4:30 am having to go to the bathroom. So I get up and take her and then she doesn't go back to sleep. She tosses and turns in the crib and it keeps me awake. So when it is time to get up and get her ready she was a little grouchy.

We went down to breakfast. The wait staff are pretty much hovering and the minute you have cleaned a plate they snatch it away. Today it was kinda of annoying me but they think they are providing a good service for us so I'll get over it. The culture here is very different when it comes to personal space. Chinese people stand very close to each other and they will openly stare at us. Also they can be very aggressive and push their way to where they want to be. It's hard to get used to. The same is true in their driving. It is unreal how people drive here. They will pull out in front of someone else and make other cars wait. Surprisingly we haven't seen any accidents. I guess it's because everyone is used to driving this way. And car seats aren't required for children here. I'm sure Marisa isn't going to be too happy when we put her in a car seat the first time.

Sundays are different here. It's pretty much business as usual. There are construction projects going on today. I think the banks are open and all businesses are open. Veronica said that most people here do not have or believe in any type of religion. I had thought Buddhism was the big religion here. But actually not a very large percentage practice Buddhism. So I guess in China they never have a day of rest. That would be hard to get used to.

This morning our group of families went to see the Chen's Ancestral Hall. It was the Chen family temple. It was interesting to walk through. It's so incredible to see the details they carved into wooden walls and doors. We also some some embroidery pieces that were framed that looked like pictures that were painted. One family said they saw women working on pieces in the province they had been in. It sounds kind of like the way we do our quilting - sitting around a frame and they embroider and then roll it up like you do when you quilt. It's very beautiful work. After we walked through the temple we went to a store. I think it's called Yi Qi Ceramic. It's very interesting to shop here in these type of stores. If you want something they will write up a receipt for it and you continue to look around. When you are finished you go pay for all your purchases at one place in the store and then go to another place in the store to pick up your purchases. We picked up a few things for Marisa. Hopefully she will appreciate once she gets older. After the store we went to eat. It was a Chinese restaurant. All of our families sat at a large round table and they brought food in and set it in the middle. The middle of the table has a turntable so if you want something you just turn the table in the middle instead of passing food. After lunch we returned to the hotel.

Our little one fell asleep in her stroller while we were shopping. When we got back on the bus to go eat, she didn't wake up when I took her out of the stroller. She seems to be able to do that - just fall asleep when she's tired. So now we're back at the hotel and she's being a little ham. She probably needs to sleep some more but hate to try to make her go down now or she might not sleep tonight. She's running around without her skort and is putting it on her head and showing us and trying to get us to laugh. She's very easily amused. She loves paper and likes to rip it up or have me write on it for her. She played with the bags our purchases came in for awhile. She's quite the character. She still wants her own way at times but is learning that mommy and daddy will not always let her have her own way. She'll cry but usually gets over it pretty quickly. And she is understanding what no means. I tried to get a picture of her with the skort on her head but she's moving around so much I can't get it.

Tonight we may try an Italian restaurant here on the island. If we go, it will be interesting to see what an Italian restaurant is like here in China. We may try to do some shopping before tomorrow afternoon when we're planning to do a "red couch" picture with the children. We would like to buy her a Chinese outfit to wear for the picture. For those who don't know, many people have their groups' babies all sit on a red couch that is in the lobby area of the White Swan hotel (where we're staying) for a picture.

So this afternoon we're resting or trying to because when there's a little one around she goes non-stop it seems. She's probably making sure she stays awake.

I think tomorrow Veronica, our guide, will be turning our paperwork in to the American Consulate. Then we'll be getting a visa for Marisa too. I'm ready to go home. It's hard eating out all the time and trying to figure out what Marisa can and can't have to eat. I'm also ready to be home to get on a regular schedule. I wonder how she will be once we get home. Marisa probably thinks we live in hotels and eat in restaurants and that's our life. So glad it's not. Plus it will be nice to see everyone at home too. Thanks so much for all of you who leave comments or have sent emails. It's nice to hear from people back home. I'll see about posting some more pictures a little later.

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Another day in Guangzhou

2010-06-26T09:42:00.000-04:00

Today we didn't have a lot to do. We got up and got down to breakfast earlier than we did yesterday. We got done to breakfast before 9 am this morning. The other families that we started with in Beijing have now all arrived here in Guangzhou and are here at the White Swan. It's fun to see everyone with their children now and hear about our experiences in our children's provinces. We felt very lucky having Veronica as our guide in Hangzhou because she was there for us all the time. It sounded like some of the other families we talked to didn't have that experience with their guide. We appreciated all Veronica's help and how organized she was. We are happy to have her continue to be our guide for our group while we're here in Guangzhou. She really looks out for her families and makes sure they're taken care of and has been very helpful when we've had questions.

Today we did have to go back to the Medical Clinic to have Marisa's TB test checked. It was fine. We were so glad that we were able to have her medical exam done the other day instead of today because the clinic was full today and I'm sure it might have taken longer than it did a couple of days ago.

Then later this afternoon the women from the families went to Veronica's room to fill out paperwork. So all the paperwork we brought with us that needed to be done we did this afternoon. It took a couple of hours. There has been so much paperwork and just seems never ending. I'm not sure what needs to be done after we get home but I know I have some things in a file that is labeled post adoption that I will need to take a look at once we get home. We received Marisa's passport today and tomorrow Veronica will turn in our paperwork to obtain a visa for Marisa. I found out today that when we fly home once we get to Detroit, we'll have to go through immigration there because of Marisa and there will be paperwork to give to those officials. So hopefully that will go smoothly. We do have several hours till we have to make our connecting flight to South Bend from there.

Tonight we went back down to Lucy's to eat dinner. We went with another couple from our group and their little boy. Marisa did pretty well for being as tired as she was. That's something to get used to after being just a couple for so long, we now have our schedule dictated by a little one and her needs.

Tomorrow the plan is for our group to go do some sightseeing and a little bit of shopping plus eating lunch. We should get back early afternoon. It has been raining here every day. So we're getting a lot of use out of our umbrellas. There's a lot of construction going on around the island here so it makes it a little muddy and dirty.

The one picture I've attached you can see is a view from our hotel room. In each of the cities we've stayed in here have been very large cities. I think if I remember correctly Beijing has like 10 million people and Hangzhou has 6 million. These are huge cities. I'm not sure about here in Guangzhou but it is another large city. The other picture I've posted is a picture of us officially a family after the adoption was registered on June 22. So June 22, 2010 is Marisa's official adoption date.

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...and more pictures of our little one

2010-06-26T09:19:00.001-04:00

There is a playroom in this hotel that we're staying at here in Guangzhou called the Swan Room. We took Marisa down there last evening for a little while before bath and bedtime. We were the only ones in the playroom at the time. She seemed to enjoy it.

And after a long day this is what our sweet little one looks like when she sleeps. It has been difficult to follow her normal routine and get her down for a nap with the different things we have to do during the day. So many times we end up with a grouchy and sleepy girl by evening. She does pretty well though considering all the changes. And thankfully Marisa can sleep with a little bit of noise and light because we put her to bed and stay up a little and it usually doesn't take her long to fall asleep. Another interesting thing has happened. When we first got Marisa she would hang on to the teddy bear we had sent her and she wanted it while she slept. But the past two nights now she doesn't want it while she sleeps. I guess that is a good sign that she must feel safe and secure and not need it.

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More pictures of Marisa YiChen

2010-06-26T09:11:00.000-04:00

Some more pictures of Marisa. She has quite the personality as you can see in some of the pictures. She's definitely her own person. She likes to mimic us. Marisa also likes to be the center of attention with us and likes to make us laugh at her.

While at the park in Hangzhou when we stopped to sit for a little bit, Veronica (our guide) put her sunglasses on Marisa and you can see Marisa is quite the little ham! She loves to have her picture taken and then see herself in the picture.

The picture of her on the toilet is pretty typical. It's like she's really concentrating or something.

She likes drinking from a straw especially since she has seen mommy and daddy do it.

Marisa very much likes to try new things especially if she sees us doing it. She loves paper and tearing it. She'll tear paper into little bits and then lay them on Ron or my arm or she puts them in our hand. Anytime I get something out to read, she wants to be right there and pretend that she's reading too. She also likes for us to write on a piece of paper that she has.

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pictures of Marisa YiChen

2010-06-26T09:04:00.001-04:00

Here are some pictures of Marisa.

When we went to the park on the West Lake Marisa liked chasing the pigeons.

And she loves her bath as you can tell by the smile on her face. She hates to get out of the tub.

You can see here what Marisa does when she's tired or deep in thought -- sucks her thumb and first finger.

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pictures while in Beijing

2010-06-26T05:39:00.000-04:00

Here are some pictures of the Forbidden City. The inside of the Forbidden City looked pretty much the same all the way through. It really was big enough to be called a city. There was also water surrounding the city as another form of protection to keep unwanted people out.

This is part of the sightseeing we did the day we were in Beijing.

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Relaxing day

2010-06-25T04:36:00.001-04:00

We arrived in Guangzhou yesterday around 10:30 am. We had to be up so early and poor Marisa sure didn't like to be woken up. We couldn't believe how busy the airport was at 7 in the morning. Lines were long and finally we got through them and to our gate. At our gate they were boarding the flight right before our's they had a last boarding call for like half an hour. I'm not sure that they do that in the states but I don't know for sure. It was just interesting that people kept coming. Finally it was our turn. We had to get on a shuttle and that took us to our plane. The plane ride was fairly uneventful. Can't believe how much we've flown the past week!

After we got checked into our hotel, the White Swan, and unpacked. Our guide, Kelly, took us and another family that is here early to the medical clinic so the girls could have their medical exams and the TB test given. Since Marisa and Addison (the other family's daughter) are over 2 years old they need to have a TB test done before leaving the country. So we got that done. The other families will have that done on Saturday and we'll have to go back to have the TB test read. We also had Marisa's visa phot taken on the way to the medical clinic. While there we saw an umbrella stroller. We decided to get it because it's really hard to carry a 2 1/2 year old when it's hot. We try to have her walk when we can but she gets tired. She didn't like the stroller at first but has done okay with it. We were on our own for the rest of the day since our guide left. She was basically filling in for Veronica (who was our guide in Hangzhou and will also be the guide for our group while here). She will get here after she picks up Marisa's passport. Normally families wait to leave their child's province till they have the passport but we had to leave early for the TB test. So Veronica stayed behind to wait for that and will bring it to us. She will be here along with the other families later today, I think. So we were on our own for dinner. We walked down to a place called Lucy's. They have Chinese and American foods. We had cheeseburgers and fries, and Marisa had rice and vegetables. She loves broccoli. Too bad her parents don't. I will need to learn how to cook that. It's hard because she will usually try to eat food that we have off of our plates and we have to tell her no. Once she gets old enough we can explain why she can't have our food and has to eat just her food. On the way back to the hotel we stopped at a 7-Eleven for some water and coke. Yes a 7-Eleven without the gas station.

I can't remember if I blogged that we can't drink the tap water or even use it to brush our teeth. I also don't use it to wash Marisa's bottle and other dishes. There is a hot pot in our room that boils water very quickly. So then I use tap water and boil it and use that to do any dishes. So we have to try to have enough water handy. When you don't have it, you realize how we take water for granted. I washed out some clothes by hand last night. Not sure how smart that was. It's taking a while to dry. We had decided not to send it out to have it done in order to save a little money but maybe it would've been better to take it somewhere. Hopefully it will dry by today or tomorrow.

Our hotel is very nice. We slept in this morning. The first time we've been able to. Well, we sort of slept in. Marisa was up a little early but did lay in her bed for a while. She actually likes to do that in the morning. We did finally get around and made it down to the breakfast buffet that is included in our hotel package. A very nice and large buffet, with lots of variety. Plus it had a lot of American and felt like we had more to choose from than in Hangzhou. After we ate, we walked around the hotel a little. They have a nice garden area outside and two pools outside. They have a lot of shops and several restaurants in the hotel. Then we came up to the room and a little later put Marisa down for a nap - which we haven't been able to do since we've had her due to our schedule. She actually slept for 3 hours. I finally turned on some lights to help wake her up before she slept too long. She did wake up then. It was nice for me to take a little nap too, and get some extra rest since I've got this bad cold or some type of sinus thing. The pollution is bad here and there is a lot of smog. So when I talk about it being hazy it's actually probably smog. With that and people smoke about anywhere and everywhere here, so that bothers me. I am feeling a little better thankfully. I sure don't want to be sick right now.

Later we will probably go out and get something to eat and walk around. I don't know if we'll try to shop at any of the shops or not. We've got to get our bargaining skills ready. Our guide told us we need to talk them down 50 to 60% of the price they're asking or we'll pay too much and I guess some of the things are cheaply made, so we just have to be careful. I know our guide will be taking us to a government owned store where the prices are set and quality is better sometime later during our time here.

Marisa seems to be doing well. We had been calling her Yi Chen the first few days but now we've started calling her Marisa YiChen to get her used to her name Marisa. I think she seems to be picking up different things. We've got her to say please, and I think she tries to say potty. Plus she says a lot of other things that we can't understand. But we do seem to communicate with each other pretty well because she seems to understand for the most part. We are enjoying her so much and having fun getting to know her. I love it when I take her to the potty and I'm holding her there so our faces are close and she really studies my face. It's so cute to watch her.

I'll try to post a little more later tonight along with some pictures.

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Last night in Hangzhou

2010-06-23T10:20:00.001-04:00

Well, I'm not going to take the time tonight to upload any pictures since it takes so long. Hopefully when we get to Guangzhou I'll have better luck with a faster connection but who knows. I may have a little more time though.

We had a very full but nice day today. Our guide picked us up this morning around 9 am and took us to West Lake which is a very pretty lake here in Hangzhou. I think I may have posted that we were able to see it from our hotel yesterday since it was less hazy. It is a very pretty lake and it's very nice all around it. We walked around part of it. And then went to another park that is also on West Lake. We saw a couple of peacocks there and the one actually spread it's tail. Marisa was fascinated with the pigeons. There were a lot of pigeons there with the peacock wanting to be fed. Marisa liked chasing the pigeons. It was a lot for Marisa and she ended up falling a sleep while I was holding her. It's hard to keep her to any type of schedule since we are doing things for the adoption at various times in the day.

Later this afternoon our guide took us to a silk shop. I don't remember the name. I guess Hangzhou is known for its silk. We saw how they took the silk out of the cocoon and stretch it. It's all very interesting. And then the whole store had all kinds of items -- clothes comforters, etc. made of silk. We did get a silk comforter for Marisa. Something that she can use plus something she will have from her home town and can pass on to her children.

Today was a good day. We feel all of your prayers and support. Marisa seems to be more attached to us. Of course there are still times that she doesn't want us to pick her up or she pushes our hand away if we try to touch her but that is becoming less and less. She seems very happy to be with us and we've seen her laugh a lot. She's doing much better with us having to take something from her and she seems to know that it's still going to be here for her later. Last night we gave her a bath and it was so much fun! She loved it! She didn't want to get out of the tub!! She has such a sweet personality and seems to like to be the center of attention. Today while we were at the park we had some people ask our guide why we had a Chinese child and she explained it to them. They seemed happy for us and said what a pretty girl she was. We of course think she's a little doll. She is so fun to watch as she plays by herself here in the hotel. She can amuse herself very easily and it's fun to watch. It doesn't seem like she needs a lot of toys to amuse herself with. She is learning what no means even if she doesn't like it. I can see that she is a typical two year old in wanting to do for herself and not really wanting our help. But then with other things she does look at us and ask for our approval before doing something or getting something. When I say ask, it's not that we can understand what she's saying but you can figure out what she means. Even though we speak two different languages I think we are understanding each other more and more each day. She seems to be very curious about things and gets excited about little things. She is a very sweet little girl.

Well, she was pretty tired tonight and went down pretty easily. Thank goodness she is a heavy sleeper because we still needed to pack and it was hard to be really quiet while packing. She slept through all of that. This morning she was up early for some reason but did just lay in her crib quietly but we ended up not being able to get any more sleep, so we're pretty tired again tonight. Tomorrow we leave the hotel at 6 am for the airport to fly to Guangzhou to take care of the rest of our paperwork and get a visa for Marisa. We are flying a day early so that she can have a TB test done tomorrow. We'll have a little bit of down time of a day or so while we wait for the other families in our group to arrive in Guangzhou. So I am hoping to be able to upload some pictures then.

Just a few more things. The orphanage where Marisa stayed put together a booklet for us that included pictures of Marisa when she was younger. It is so nice to have that and means alot that they would give us that. Plus we also received a book from the director of the orphanage about Hangzhou and he wrote a special note to Marisa in the front of the book. You can tell that they really loved and cared for Marisa well. I'm so glad we have a few of these things for her so that she will be able to have them.

Well, I'd better get some rest. It will be an interesting day to take a flight with a young child. Hopefully the whole airport experience will go well as well as the flight. It will be nice to be in one place for a week. I'll post more once we're in Guangzhou and hopefully upload some more pictures. Thanks again for the continued prayers. We feel like we are doing well.

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It's official!

2010-06-22T07:44:00.000-04:00

I'm getting some pictures uploaded today but it is taking very long. I don't know if it's the connection here or what. The pictures are of yesterday when we were at the Civil Affairs office after we first met Marisa and throughout that morning. Today we went back to the Civil Affairs office to proceed with the adoption. They give a family 24 hours to decide if they want to proceed with the adoption or not. So this morning we returned to the Civil Affairs office to register the adoption and we received the official adoption decree. We are now officially Marisa YiChen's parents! We also went to the Police Station to register for a passport for Marisa. That will be ready on Friday. She had to have her picture taken again today and it seems like in all of these official pictures she has been crying and doesn't look like herself.

This morning we also stopped at the Children's Hospital where Marisa was left to be found. We do not have any other details about why she was left. She was left with a small bracelet and little purse or something. But we are not allowed to have those things, they are kept by the Civil Affairs office I guess. I do not really understand why Marisa can't have what is her's but I guess that's the way the Chinese government works. So we took some pictures of the hospital. And in talking to our guide she said Marisa could've been left by a single mother because single mothers are not looked very highly upon. And if she was raised by a single mother she wouldn't have been able to get an ID card or go to school. So if Marisa's mother was single she would've thought it best to leave her child in hopes of a better future. So we'll never know to tell Marisa but I'm sure her mother left her only because she didn't feel she could provide for her and hoped someone else would be able to.

We have spent time in the hotel again this afternoon. I brought lunch back to hotel for us. Then we put Marisa down for a nap. She laid in her crib and did fall asleep and slept for a couple of hours. We were also able to take a nap while she did. After she woke up she let us know she had to use the bathroom and then she wanted to lay back in the crib. She is doing better today. She has reached for us each again at different times. She makes eye contact. All these things are good and mean progress toward her attaching to us. Tonight we are going to try to give her a bath. The orphanage reported she does like baths but for us to give it to her maybe a different story. She does like to have her face and hands washed with a wash cloth. She seems to be learning what yes and no mean. She has typical two year old behaviors where she wants to do everything herself and not let us help or sometimes she has to be told she can't do something.

This evening we had dinner in the room again. It's pretty sad when your child gets excited when she sees the bag and knows that's dinner! It will be different once we get home. What's hard is she wants what we're eating and usually what we're eating she can't have. For the most part we're doing okay with her diet, I think. I'm trying to be very conscious of what is low in protein or has no protein. It's been a little difficult when we're not as familiar with the food and how it might be prepared. So hopefully we're doing okay with that. I guess once we get home and meet with the dietician and Marisa's Phe (phenylalanine) levels have been checked, we'll know better what she can and can't eat.

Today it seems like Marisa is starting to trust us more. She calls us mama and baba (daddy). Today as she was looking at the little photo album with pictures we'd sent her, she points to the picture of our cat and I told her kitty says "meow" and so now she points to Zoe (the cat) and says "meow" all the time. She also will repeat some words we say, like "bye-bye", "please". One thing we found she likes to play with is paper. I had brought some scrap paper and so we tore some into smaller pieces and she'll put those in her purse then take them out and then back in, etc. The orphanage had sent a little pink purse with her and she likes to carry that around and put things in it. The thing I'm excited about as a teacher is that she seems to take an interest in words that she sees on paper and she points to them almost like she is pretending to read what it says.

Tomorrow we will be going to West Lake which is a very nice lake here in Hangzhou. And actually tonight was the first night we have actually been able to see it from our room. It has been very hazy most days - actually it's smog I guess. We will also be going to the orphanage tomorrow to drop off our donation. We were denied a tour of the orphanage but at least this way we'll be able to see a little of the area. I guess it is a very nice orphanage as far as the facilities and things. Tomorrow will be our last full day here. On Thursday we will be flying to Guangzhou so that Marisa can have a TB test done. We and another family will be flying in to Guangzhou a day early or our girls can have the TB test done. The other families we were with in Beijing will meet up with us in Guangzhou on Friday then. It's hard to believe we've been here for almost a week. I am tired of living out of a suitcase already. I'll be glad once we're in Guangzhou since that will be our last stop and we'll be staying there for a week and not have to change hotels for a while. Of course, we will be going to Hong Kong after that for one night and then flying home. In talking with the other families from our group, I think they are all doing the same thing - going to Hong Kong for one night and then flying home from there. That's kind of nice that we'll still be together.

Well, I think I will end for now. I know some of my thoughts are kind of random. As I thought of things I would write about them. Hopefully my thoughts make sense. So until tomorrow.....

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Meeting Marisa YiChen!

2010-06-21T10:38:00.001-04:00

I know everyone is dying to know how it went today since today was the day we met Marisa. I don't know if I'll be able to send pictures with this post or not. Pictures are loading really slowly tonight and it is taking forever or not working for me. I'm pretty tired so I don't know how long I'll try to upload them.

We got to the Civil Affairs office around 9:30 am this morning. I saw Marisa sitting in a chair right near the door we entered. She was wearing the outfit we sent in her care package. She also had the teddy bear we sent and the board book. She also had the disposable camera we sent along. We may try to get the film developed from that camera while we're here yet. We're anxious to see what's on it. Well, Marisa wasn't too happy to have us hold her and she pretty much arched her back, screamed and cried when one of us was trying to hold her. Ron and I took turns holding her for awhile each time so she would start getting used to us. Of course, there were papers to sign as well. There were a couple of other families in the room meeting their children for the first time and signing paperwork. It seemed while we were at the Civil Affairs office Marisa was taking to Ron more than me which I did kind of expect since she hasn't been around men as much. She doesn't want to betray her other female caretakers that she has formed an attachment to, so she doesn't want to show any type of attachment to me. We found out that after they knew she was going to be adopted, she was returned to the orphanage and has been there for the past 6 months. So I'm sure that was another huge change for her -- going from a family she's come to love to going back to the orphanage. We found out that at the orphanage they also provide some type of education classes for these little ones and she did very well. She was also a favorite with the orphanage workers and they told us they tended to spoil her. Oh no! I'm sure she deserved to be spoiled.

Marisa was upset most of the time we were at the Civil Affairs office. We were there until after 11:00 am, I think. She did fall asleep while I was holding her as we were signing paperwork. So she slept for a while. I guess she usually takes a nap from 11:30 to 1:30 every day. I think everything upset her so much she was exhausted with the crying and stuff that she just crashed.

We're finding that she doesn't want anything that is her's taken from her even for a little bit. I knew this could be a problem because they will hang on to what is their's afraid that it will be taken from them forever. We even had trouble taking her shoes off when we were at the hotel. She cried and cried and was fighting me the whole time. Even when I put her sandals right beside her, she was still crying and trying to make me see she wanted them on her feet. She at first wouldn't let us help her with anything like opening a wrapper to some crackers that she had brought with her. But she has slowly let us do that for her since she sees that we might only have to take it out of her hands for a little bit and then she gets it back.

After the Civil Affairs office appointment, we had to stop at a little photo place to have our family picture taken. It wasn't a very happy photo for Marisa. It seems that one of us can hold her and then she'll settle down and be okay but then if we want to put her down she will start crying again. So we pick up the family picture tomorrow. It will be interesting to see what that will look like with our unhappy camper. I forget what we need that picture for -- something in our paperwork. She also had to have a picture taken alone for her passport. That didn't make her happy to be by herself. Ron did sit with her as the photographer tried to get a head shot of her.

We then came back to the hotel. Marisa and I stayed behind while Veronica (our guide) and Ron went to pick up a couple of bottles (since I found out she drinks her special protein formula from a bottle) and some lunch for us all. Marisa did okay with me but there were still bouts of crying. So we spent most of the day and evening in the room with her. She seemed happy at times and would walk around and watch tv. She really likes the teddy bear we sent her and doesn't like to part with that. She ate pretty well both for lunch and dinner. She didn't have any wetting accidents either. Somehow I figured out she when had to go to the bathroom by her expression or she'd kind of whine/cry. I set her on the toilet and she'd do her thing. I wasn't sure if tonight she'd let us put a pull up on her and change her clothes to pjs. She did let us, we just tried to do it very quick. I gave her her special formula tonight before going to bed. She drank some and then had to go to the bathroom. She kind of pointed at her tummy but of course didn't know if it hurt or what. I brought her back out to the bed to try to give her some more formula. She took a little and then all of her supper and formula came up! What a mess! She didn't cry or anything. We got her cleaned up and everything else and I was still holding her and she fell asleep! I was so glad she was able to fall asleep. I'm hoping she'll sleep through the night so we can all get a good night's rest. I think with her being so upset today for most of the day is why she threw up because she didn't seem to be feeling sick otherwise.

So we stayed in today. Had lunch from a Chinese place that Ron brought back here. Tonight we had some McDonald's that our guide went and got for us. It is so nice to have our guide. Since not many people here seem to speak any English she has been a great help talking to the hotel personnel if we need something or ordering meals for us. Any way with staying in our room most of the day we used this opportunity to pick Marisa up and hold her. She didn't always like this but she is starting to cry less when we do. She has reached for each of us at one time or another throught the course of the day which has been encouraging. Even though she will let us hold her, she doesn't lean in close to us or let her body conform to our's. She tends to be kind of stiff yet. But we did see her smile and laugh several times today. She can be quite the little character. She does like to do funny things because she knows it will make mommy and daddy laugh. And she really likes to have her picture taken. She likes for us to show her the picture after we take it. The report from the orphanage said that she tends to be an extrovert in familiar settings and I can see where that can be true.

Later this afternoon our guide took us to exchange our money for the fees and other expenses we have with the adoption that we'll need to pay tomorrow. I carried Marisa to the bank - the bank was in walking distance from our hotel. But a toddler gets pretty heavy even for a short distance. Our guide seems to think that Marisa needs to walk more. I wasn't too concerned with her walking when we're walking down the street with crowds of people. I'd rather hold her then. So she did have a meltdown in the bank as we were leaving because our guide wanted Marisa to walk and she didn't want to. She didn't want to hold my hand then but of course she had no choice with that.

So even though the behavior was kind of hard to deal with today, it was expected. We just have to be patient and keep being there for her so she knows she can trust us. Once she knows she can trust us, it should start to go a little better. I know it's hard for people to understand why we need to just spend time alone with her but this is why. She needs to be able to form that attachment to us and know that we are her parents and we won't leave or let anything bad happen to her. The less stimuli the better at first. When she feels overwhelmed, then she cries and has a meltdown. These will eventually become fewer and fewer as she learns to trust us but it will take some time.

We continue to need your prayers and hopefully tomorrow will go better than today and every day after that. I do dread the 15 hour plane ride that we will have on the way home. But I'm hoping by then she will have learned to trust us enough that it will go better and hopefully she will be easy going and not get too fussy on the long flight.

I'm sorry I can not seem to get photos downloaded tonight. I don't have the patience to deal with that either because I'm tired and need to get some rest. So I will try the photos again tomorrow and hopefully it will work for me.

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In Hangzhou

2010-06-20T16:28:00.000-04:00

Yesterday we flew out of Beijing airport around 8 am. Well, I guess that was when our flight was scheduled to leave but we had to wait for our turn to take off, so we sat on the runway for a while. Had a safe flight. On our way to the airport (all five families went because we all had flights out that morning to our different provinces) we were given a "breakfast" by the hotel since we were unable to make it to the buffet since we were leaving early. Our packed breakfast consisted of some type of cheese and meat sandwich, a salad, a banana, a hardboiled egg and some cookies. Isn't that an interesting breakfast? ;) But then a little into the flight they served breakfast! And it was only a two-hour flight! That doesn't happen in the US! You only get a snack and a drink on a short flight like that.

Our guide, Veronica, was waiting for us at the airport. She is a different guide than the one we had in Beijing. She will actually continue to be the guide for all of us families when we get to Guangzhou. So we went to our hotel which was about an hour drive from the airport. On the way to the hotel, Veronica talked about what we'd be doing these next few days and some about the city. We were kind of disappointed because we've been told that the city is a very beautiful city by others as well as our guide, but the problem is they just started their rainy season so when we arrived it was raining and gets fairly foggy. So we really couldn't see much in the distance as we drove toward our hotel. It's not a hard rain but just a fairly steady rain. It will probably rain the whole time we're here. Yes, we did bring umbrellas. I did see our hotel room has an umbrella for our use though.

So we got to our hotel and Veronica checked us in. Here they really don't understand any English so we really rely on her to speak for us. It was interesting -- we had to go to the 8th floor of the hotel for the lobby! Our room is on the 23rd floor. We arrived in our room and had to wait for housekeeping to come and finish cleaning our room and make the beds. So we watched TV for about 45 minutes until someone came. Then we unpacked and organized our things and each took short naps until we were to meet Veronica to go get some water. I can't remember if I've said before that people don't drink the water here. You only drink bottled or water that's been boiled. So no tap water. So far it hasn't been too difficult to remember that but when you are without water then you realize how much you take water for granted and how thirsty you can get. So since we're staying here for a few days we thought we'd get some water to keep in our room. Veronica took us to a little "grocery store" just right near our hotel. This grocery store was nothing like the little grocery stores at home. We recognized many name brands as I think those things are produced in China. We picked up some water, coke, and a can of Pringles. We decided to stay in for the evening since we were both pretty tired (especially since I haven't slept really well yet) and actually Veronica thought that was a good idea since we have a big day ahead of us today. So she ordered a Papa John's pizza for us and had it delivered to our room. It was good!

I probably fell asleep soon after 6:30 pm last night I was so tired. I slept until about a little bit ago. So I'm writing this at 4 am China time on Monday morning but it is actually 4 pm back in Indiana! Happy Father's Day to our dads!

The plan for today is getting up about 7 am, going to breakfast about 8 am, and then making sure we have everything we need to go meet Marisa at the Civil Affairs office. I think Veronica said it's about a 20 minute drive from our hotel. Yesterday the hotel brought a crib to our room for Marisa and there is no mattress! The babies are used to sleeping on hard surfaces like that! Since Marisa is used to that I guess it will be okay. So we go to get Marisa and get to ask some questions about routines and things. Then we get to spend the day with her. We may not be doing much. I think Veronica may take us to a Chinese restuarant later today. Then tomorrow we will go back to Civil Affairs and we'll have paperwork and things to fill out and fees to pay.

And, Kristi, I found out that we are about a 20 minute drive from the West Lake, so I guess we won't be walking there! But I did mention it to our guide and she said she would take us there.

Once again I'm sorry for not having pictures up yet. I am hoping later today if I'm not too tired to be able to do that but it depends on how the day goes and if nothing else I'll at least try to post a picture of Marisa for you. Right now Ron's still sleeping and so I don't want to turn lights on and wake him. I'm just glad I'm able to post about our days to keep in touch with you back home.

Please pray for us today as we meet Marisa for the first time and pray that she won't be too afraid or upset about the changes that are happening in her life. We realize she will be somewhat upset but hopefully she will let us comfort her and won't resist us too much. I'll try to post more about our day with Marisa later this evening.

Love you all!!

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A day of sightseeing

2010-06-19T09:43:00.001-04:00

Our day started bright and early but I actually wasn't sleeping that well anyway so I guess to get up early was fine. Ron seemed to be sleeping well but he said the bed was a little uncomfortable. The bed is hard, there is no give -- not like a firm mattress we might have at home. Ron said it was like sleeping on the floor and I would have to agree.

So we got down to breakfast in the hotel around 7 am. It is an interesting buffet. They have breakfast foods but also foods that we'd consider lunch or dinner foods. But then I don't know for sure what they eat for breakfast here in China. While at breakfast we also met the other 4 families that are here for adoptions through Great Wall (our adoption agency). There are three couples from Florida and the family we met last night at the airport -- they are from Illinois. Everyone is very friendly. We have becoming first time parents in common with the one couple from Florida and it's funny because the husband is my age and the wife is Ron's age. So we have a couple things in common with them. The family we met at the airport is adopting an older girl (4 years old) and so we along with them will fly to Guangzhou one day earlier than the other couples so that our daughters can have a TB test done which is a requirement for any child 2 years old and older being adopted, if I remember correctly. So it will be nice not to be alone at the hotel but to know someone else.

Our day was spent sightseeing here in Beijing. I never realized how large of a city Beijing was until today. Our guide Michelle, shared a lot of things about the city. Of course to remember everything she told us is not something that we'll do I'm sure. By the way our guide, Michelle, has been wonderful. She lets us know where we can eat that the food is all okay, clues us in on tipping, and other things that are appropriate. What would we do without her!! We started out at Tiananmen Square. It was crazy to see all the people. There were a lot of Chinese people there on vacation, people from other countries, people on tours, families, people from other other adoption agencies, and who knows who else. So it was very crowded due to it being the weekend and summer. We went into the Forbidden City and I never realized how it goes on forever it seems. There are many "gates" as they call them. And it took us a while to walk through the whole thing but very interesting because it was built in 1406 to 1420 (something like that). We used the toilets there. They don't use the word "restrooms" here that we have seen. There are just signs for "toilets". I was glad to see when we went into the women's restroom that there were regular western toilets as well as the squaty potties. So I opted for the toilet I'm familiar with. Forgot the toilet paper but got a tissue from one of the other ladies in our group. And they don't throw toilet paper down the stool, they put it in a small trash can next to the toilet. Very interesting cultural differences. We went to lunch at a restaurant that was included in our tour for the day. We also got a short tour of how they make these one type of jars. Then we ate lunch. They brought out a variety of foods and put it on the center of the table that had a table that turned so everyone at the table could reach the food. So it was kind of like eating at a buffet.

After lunch we drove to the Great Wall. It was amazing because as we got closer to the Great Wall we saw mountains but due to the smog we weren't able to see the mountains from a distance. We were dropped off at a certain point and we could climb from there. We climbed up part of the way to the 2nd tower. Well, for one it was very warm and the sun was out so that made it difficult to climb and when I realized how steep it was, I kind of freaked out and decided to come down because of the height. Ron and another guy from our group did make it up to the 2nd tower. On our way back to the hotel from the Great Wall, we went past the Olympic area. We saw the "Water Cube" and "the Bird's Nest". Our guide told us that the whole area was developed just for the Olympics. Now pretty much everything sits empty because it's too expensive. It looked like a little city.

We didn't feel too bad today as far as jet lag or anything. I know it helped to be out in the sun today and follow a pretty normal schedule. But I started feeling it late this afternoon and felt like I could've slept after we got back from our tour of the Great Wall. We went with another couple to eat dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe tonight. It was a fun time. When we got back we packed some things and got things ready to leave tomorrow. Tomorrow morning we fly to Marisa's home town of Hangzhou. This afternoon after we got back to the hotel we got a call from the gal that will be our guide while we're in Hangzhou. It was really nice for her to touch base with us. We are the only ones from our group that is going to Hangzhou. So we'll have the guide to ourselves. Tomorrow (Sunday) we fly to Hangzhou and get checked into our hotel. It's pretty much a free day. So not sure what we'll do, if we'll hang out in the hotel room and sleep/rest or if we'll go walk around the city.

Well I think I need to sign off for now. Sorry for not having any pictures yet. I am just so tired I'm almost falling asleep as I'm typing this. So maybe the jet lag is finally hitting me. And we need to get up about 4:30 in the morning so it's probably best to get some sleep. Only 2 more days till we meet Marisa!!

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We're in China!!!

2010-06-18T14:05:00.001-04:00

Wow! What a day we have had! It is now about 1:45 am on Saturday morning in China. We just got checked into our hotel here in Beijing about 45 minutes ago. Our flights all went smoothly -- well maybe some turbulence but as far as us making our connections and things everything went fine. From South Bend we left a little past the original scheduled time but we still made it to Minneapolis on time. The plane we were on from Minneapolis to Tokyo was a very large plane. What a long ride! Ron and I were stuck in seats in the middle between two other people. But the two gentlemen were very friendly and talkative, so we learned a little about their lives. How could we not talk to them when the flight was about 12 hours long! And we were chasing the sun the whole way since we were traveling west. It was the weirdest thing. People closed shades on the plane and the lights were turned down so people could sleep. We did sleep some but not very much. There were movies we could watch. We tried to get up and walk around some but that's not that easy on a plane with that many people since others had the same idea and the flight attendants were trying to get around as well. And boy did we eat well. We had two meals on the plane --one at the beginning of our flight and one near the end. In the middle of the flight we had a sandwich and fruit. It was easy to get around at the Tokyo airport. So much was in English as well as Japanese. The flight from Tokyo to Beijing was not quite 4 hours. We arrived in Beijing about 10:30 pm China time Friday (10:30 am Friday back home time). It took us a little while to get through stuff at the airport that you need to do before you can leave. We got our luggage okay and found our guide from Great Wall with no problem. But then we had to wait on another family to get in to the airport yet, so we waited probably another hour and that's why we got to the airport so late.

Still can't quite believe this is real and that we are really on the other side of the world in China! The hotel is very nice. You have to put your key card in a slot to get electricity. I guess that cuts down on waste doesn't it?! The beds are hard but hopefully we can sleep well. An early start to our day so that we can do some sightseeing here in Beijing for the day. I'll post more tomorrow and try to post some pictures. I'm not able to access blogger and so have to email it to our blog. Maybe someone can leave us a comment and let me know if you could read this or send us an email. We are able to access our email at least here in Beijing.

Good night and keep those prayers coming! They are working! Love you all!

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And we're off!!

2010-06-17T08:53:00.000-04:00

Here we go on one of the greatest adventures of our lives!!! Actually it seems unreal that we are going to China. I guess once we get there it will seem real! :) Thanks so much to everyone for your prayers and continued prayers as we embark on this wonderful experience of adding a daughter to our family!

It's finally happening...

2010-06-15T14:45:00.000-04:00

We had a great 5 days in New Orleans for Ron's nephew's wedding. It was hot and humid down there and actually people were saying it was much hotter while we were there than is normal for June. Go figure! The wedding was very nice. Ron and I didn't do as much sightseeing on this trip since we've been there twice before and did a lot of sightseeing then. We did find a couple out of the way places to eat with very good food. So that was fun. Since we stayed in the French Quarter and the rehearsal dinner and wedding & reception were all in the French Quarter, we walked most places. It sure was hot walking to the church in our dress clothes!!

So here we are, only a couple of days until we leave for China. Now here at the last minute there are things I wish we would've done, etc. We waited for so long you would think we would have gotten everything done we wanted to have done before we travel to China but that is not the case. I think "waiting" became the norm like we were going to be waiting forever or something. I now realize that once you get the referral you are so occupied with getting paperwork done or collected, and making other last minute preparations that you don't have time for the other stuff. I guess whatever doesn't get done will be waiting for us when we return home!

I'm feeling so many mixed emotions about our trip and meeting our daughter. It still seems so unreal. I'm not sure why it seems unreal when Marisa's room is full of stuff to pack for the trip. I've got most things packed and just need to work on getting clothes packed. It's so hard for me to pack light. I want to be prepared for any possible situation and in order to do that I think I have to take absolutely everything with us! But that's not the best idea since we have to carry all that around. Hopefully I can pack light enough and not go over the weight limit for checked in luggage for travel within China. I've also got some last minute things to get around. And then I have the last minute hair cut appointment and dentist appointment to have a permanent crown put in - of all things!

Well, it's back to getting things ready. If I have some time tomorrow I'll post but if not this may be the last you hear from us until we reach China!!

Our Consulate appointment has been confirmed!!!

2010-06-01T12:42:00.000-04:00

Yes, our consulate appointment has been confirmed!! The much awaited email came this morning around 11:00 am. The appointment has been confirmed for June 28 at 10 am. So that means we leave for Beijing on June 17!!

It's all finally happening and it's so hard to believe that we are actually going over to China! We also got an updated photo of Marisa and a little bit of updated information but not much. I feel like she looks different in every picture and like she's growing up before my eyes!

After all of this waiting it's finally becoming real. We are going to be parents soon! We are to pick up Marisa on June 21 - the day after Father's Day. What a nice Father's Day gift for Ron! My grandma's (maternal) birthday was June 21 and my mom's birthday is June 23. So I'm sure getting another grandchild will be a nice birthday present for her!

still waiting...

2010-05-28T17:40:00.000-04:00

Okay, so we did hear from our agency later in the day yesterday (Thursday) and they are still trying to work out the appointments so that we can try to leave June 17. I didn't realize they were still trying to work on that. I guess there are about 3 other families that are in the same situation we are in and so the agency is really trying to get things worked out for us to travel as soon as possible.

Today it's been so quiet and we've heard nothing from our agency. So that means they haven't heard anything. The hard part is now this is a holiday weekend and their office is closed on Monday so that means we have to wait until Tuesday to see if there is any news. The other hard part of the waiting is that China is 13 hours ahead of us, so while we're working they're sleeping and then while they're working, we're sleeping. So when requests are made of China that's why it seems like the answers take a while to come.

So we'll just try to stay as busy as possible this weekend. We have plenty to do so hopefully we can get a lot done. So maybe staying busy will help keep our minds off of China. Yeah, like that's gonna happen!! When aren't I thinking about China and our little girl?! Have a great holiday weekend everyone!!

We have TA!!!

2010-05-27T06:53:00.000-04:00

We now have TA which is Travel Approval. We received this on Monday of this week. On Tuesday we received tentative travel plans. Tentatively we were to leave on June 17 with our Consulate Appointment on June 29. Well, turns out the 29th isn't available and since Marisa is 2 years old she has to have a TB test done and so then she needs to be seen 72 hours after that. So what that means is her medical exam needs to happen 3 days before the consulate appointment. They could possibly change our consulate appointment if her medical exam can be changed from Saturday to Friday, but that may not be able to happen. So we found this out yesterday (Wednesday) and our agency said that our new tentative date for travel is June 24. I know everything is tentative until the consulate appointment can be confirmed but it's hard when dates change to later.

I really feel like this last stretch has been the most difficult. When you know who your child is. You have a picture and information but you can't get to her. It's like a bad dream where you want or need to get somewhere and you can never quite seem to get there - it's always just a little beyond your reach. I know we'll get to China. I would just rather it be sooner than later. We've rolled with the ups and downs of this process for so long, you just want something to be in your favor for once. Life is always unpredictable and I know we like things to be more predictable and we want to be in control of how and when things happen. But as we've learned that just isn't always possible.

So maybe we'll find out more today or tomorrow about when we actually do travel to China. Our agency has been really good about keeping us posted about things and I appreciate that. I feel like we know what's going on. I know they are working hard for us and things aren't always in their control either.

So we continue to wait...

waiting...again....

2010-05-13T15:43:00.000-04:00

Well, everything has moved pretty quickly up until we needed our homestudy updated. It didn't really take our homestudy agency that long to get things around and get it updated (see right side of page for timeline). And then we sent that in to immigration and we just received the updated approval paperwork from them last Friday (5-7-10). So I emailed our agency with the update and now we're just waiting on TA (travel approval) so that they can begin to work on our travel arrangements. I'm very anxious to receive TA so that we can go get our daughter. I know this wait now, that we know who our daughter is, hasn't been that long but it still seems long. Much of this still seems unreal. This is actually our daughter! We have a daughter waiting for us in China!!! I don't think it will seem real until we're actually in China and we see Marisa with our own eyes. Oh what a joy that will be!! I'm getting tears in my eyes now just thinking about it. So hopefully soon we'll have news about our travel plans. We really hope to be able to travel in June. So keep praying!

About our Ethiopian adoption...
Just got word today from CAN (our adoption agency) that our homestudy has been approved!! So once our social worker gets that mailed to us we're ready to send our paperwork in! And then that process can get moving. Our agency will get our paperwork certified and authenticated first and then it can be sent to Ethiopia. Then we'll wait again! But at least our minds and lives will be occupied with Marisa as we wait for Samuel. :)

things are moving quickly!

2010-04-11T21:59:00.000-04:00

After posting in my last update that we could be waiting 30 or more days to receive the LSC (letter seeking confirmation) from China, it arrived 6 days after our PA!!!! Wow! is all I can say! When our agency called me to let me know I was in such a state of shock and was crying happy tears! But then I realized that we don't have our homestudy updated yet and don't have approval from immigration yet, so that could slow things down a little. Because after our agency receives our signed LSC they send it to China and then China starts working on our travel plans but they need the form from immigration that gives the approval for it. The agency that is doing our homestudy has all of our paperwork already. We made sure we got things done quickly so that we could get it back to them quickly so they could start working on the background checks and things. So things are being worked on but the next things may not happen as quickly as they have been. God is really making things happen. I know He's responsible for all of this. It gives me shivers and makes me cry knowing all of this and what a wonderful God we serve. Though the wait has been long, I believe God has been preparing us for YiChen and I don't think we really would've been ready for her before this. Isn't it amazing and wonderful how God works? I am in complete awe! He deserves all the glory for making this happen. The adoption is in His hands and we just trust Him with whatever happens next. Thank you so much for all of your prayers and continued prayers as we work on completing this journey to Marisa.
As for our Ethiopian adoption we are waiting for our homestudy to be completed. Our social worker just received that last piece of information she needed so the homestudy should be done rather quickly since it was pretty much already done but just needed this one piece of information added yet. So once we have a copy of the homestudy we can be sending it along with the rest of the paperwork we've collected to our adoption agency where they will take care of getting it certified and authenticated. And then it will be sent to Ethiopia. So also pray for the homestudy to be completed in the next day or so and that this adoption journey can get moving.
Still can't get a picture uploaded and we really don't have many to choose from, but I did email some of you a picture. So if you didn't receive the email with a picture and would like to see a picture, let me know.

Exciting news!!!

2010-03-28T13:04:00.000-04:00

Well, we have some exciting news!!! We have found Marisa!! She was on the China waiting child list! We didn't expect to go that route but here we are! So let me tell you the story...

On Feb. 15 I decided to submit an online application to our adoption agency for the waiting child program. I thought I could at least look at the waiting children and their special needs and see if any would be a good fit for us. I didn't tell Ron what I had done yet at this point because I didn't really feel a need to discuss it unless a child came up as a possibility and then we could discuss the possibility of adopting a child with special needs. The application was very specific about checking the medical conditions or special needs you thought you'd be able to handle and work with. So I looked up the medical conditions and special needs to see what they were if I didn't already know and was very careful to mark things that I thought we'd be okay with. The application also asks how you would take care of the child's special needs, etc. So I looked over the list after the application was accepted and didn't think too much about it.
Then on March 11 we were contacted by our agency with a possible match of a little girl with special needs. (I forgot that the staff at our agency would also be looking at our application and the waiting children to see if they could find a match.) I went on to the waiting child list and found her. I read the little bio on her. I had Ron read it and we decided we would like to review her file. So we notified the agency and they emailed the file to us the next day. We read over her file, prayed, did research online about her medical conditions, prayed, reviewed the file with our doctor, prayed, talked to others, prayed, asked others to pray about our decision, and prayed some more. Ron and I discussed the worst case scenarios and not so bad scenarios. We talked about what we could expect but yet we agreed it's hard to know because there are unknowns. Do we just trust God with her special needs? We did feel called to adopting her. Of course, I did fall in love with her when I saw her picture. So we notified the agency on Wed., March 17 that we wanted to move ahead with adopting her.
So the agency called us and told us what we needed to submit to them in the next 48 hours, and then they would submit that to CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs). So we wrote a letter saying we wanted to adopt YiChen (that's her Chinese name), and we explained how we would take care of her needs. We also had to fill out an information sheet about us, sign an agreement, get some pictures around to send. We submitted everything by email that evening. I wanted to make sure they had time to look everything over so that if we needed to make any changes we would still have time to do that. Everything was okay and the agency was going to submit it on that Friday (March 19). Well, on that Friday the CCAA's website was down or having some difficulties so they were unable to submit it that day, so they waited until Monday, March 22.
In the meantime, I notified our homestudy agency in Indianapolis that we needed to update our homestudy to show we wanted to adopt a special needs child. Our agency sent that to us and we received on March 23. So we've already completed most of the paperwork for the update and hope to get that sent off later this week.
After we submitted our paperwork to China we were told it would be about a 2-4 week wait to get our PA (Pre-Approval).  I wasn't sure how I was going to be able to wait that long to hear back but knew there were things we needed to do in the meantime and thought time would probably go quickly.
Well, yesterday (Sat., Mar. 27) I woke up with a terrible headache and ended up staying in bed most of the day not doing anything. Not even checking email.  Later that evening when I started feeling better, I checked our email and man! was I surprised!  There it was an email from our agency and in the subject line was "Pre-Approval!"   Oh my word! That was less than a week that we heard back!!! We couldn't believe we had heard back so quickly on a Saturday!
The next step is waiting for our Letter Seeking Confirmation (LSC) from CCAA. This could take 30 to 100 days depending on the status of our dossier at the CCAA. Well, we have been through the whole process of having our dossier translated and reviewed and approved for the regular adoption route so I wouldn't think it would take them long to review it for this adoption. So after we get that, sign it, and it's returned to CCAA, we could be traveling to China two months after that to pick up Marisa!!
After waiting so long it seems incredible that we are actually going to be parents soon! I have thought every year, "Is this the year Marisa will be home for Christmas?" And now this is actually the year!! Of course, there's still some paperwork to do and hopefully we can get it all done so it doesn't delay anything.
Today in church the message was about Hope in Faith. We have had faith this whole time that God was getting Marisa ready for us.  Not to say that at times we were really wondering what was going on that we had to wait so long for our little girl. Did we not have enough faith or was our faith not as strong as it needed to be? Was that why God was having us wait? Or was He wanting to prepare us for something that maybe a couple of years ago we weren't ready for?  Lately I've been praying for a miracle. Is this the miracle I've been praying for.  We know that God is good all the time!  And we have always prayed that God will bring the child that is perfect for us into our lives.  I just pray that we can give this child the wonderful life she deserves and be able to show her and teach her how wonderful God really is, so that she will come to love God and lead a life of faith in Him.
I wanted to post a picture but it's not letting me upload a picture to this page. I will continue to work on it and hopefully can get one uploaded later.
Here's a little about her: She is two years old, turns 3 in November. She has been living with a foster family.
Please continue to pray for us as we work on finalizing her adoption and plan to make the trip to China.

moving ahead...

2010-02-06T13:48:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm finally working on the paperwork for the Ethiopian adoption (we made the decision this past summer that we would do this). It seems like such a daunting task, but really the social worker who is doing our home study and our agency (CAN-Children of All Nations) help us out alot. There is so much paperwork to gather and it's important to make sure it's done correctly or it needs to be done over. Our agency has a guide that outlines everything and gives specifics on what's needed for each piece of paperwork for our dossier. Every country is different in what they require for an international adoption. There are some things that are similar to China. I don't know how many times we've had background criminal checks done and been fingerprinted in the last 4 years but we have to get a current one done with each adoption or in the case of China with each renewal of our paperwork to keep it current. The nice thing about the Ethiopian adoption is that we gather all of the paperwork and have it notarized but then the agency will take care of having it certified and then authenticated. Having it certified means sending it to our Secretary of State who has to check all the notarizations and basically say they're okay and they attach a letter to each document saying it is okay. For our China adoption we had one document that was sent back to us because the notary's printed name wasn't legible - so that's how picky it gets! Then it is sent to be authenticated which I forget exactly what they look for but they also attach a letter to every document we submitted and for the China adoption the letter was written in Chinese. So with the agency taking care of that end of it this time it takes a little stress off of us but of course we pay them for doing it.

For those of you that have asked, yes we are still pursuing our China adoption. We've been waiting for 42 months (3 years 6 months) and yes it seems like forever. And we haven't been matched with a child yet so it's not like our daughter is getting older while she's waiting for us. They don't make a match until our paperwork is next in the process. We still have 14 groups of people ahead of us from our adoption agency (GWCA-Great Wall China Adoptions) waiting for a referral(to be matched). Our agency started another division for adoptions in their agency called CAN - Children of All Nations. CAN does adoptions from other countries since GWCA only does China adoptions. When we started our adoption with CAN it was doing adoptions with Rwanda, Ethiopia, and Mexico and have since added the Phillipines and Haiti, I think. So Ethiopia seemed the best match for us. So we had our first home visit by the social worker on Thursday evening who will be doing our home study for this adoption. I think everything went well. It's always just kind of nerve wracking meeting someone who has to "inspect" your home and decides if you're able to adopt. Nothing in our lives is private anymore. It's all out there for our agency and the Chinese and Ethiopian governments to see as well as several others along the way. It's very intimidating but in the end will be very well worth it.

Yes, we can have two adoptions in process at the same time. We thought we might as well go for it so that our child would have a sibling. The process through Ethiopia should go much more quickly than China. Even though it would be kind of nice if we'd have both of our children home before the end of this year, but not sure that it will happen. For those that haven't read previous posts on this blog we plan to adopt a girl from China and name her Marisa and a boy from Ethiopia and name him Samuel. We are excited but it takes a lot of prayers and patient to make all of this happen. So we really would like your prayers as we continue this process that the Ethiopian adoption will go smoothly and we can work quickly to get all of the needed paperwork together, and that the China adoption will speed up so we can bring our long awaited daughter home soon.

Another year almost over...

2009-12-14T23:18:00.005-05:00

I can't believe 2009 is almost over. Time sure does seem to fly. I hope this finds everyone healthy and enjoying the holiday season.

Well, another year has come and gone again and we still haven't been to China to pick up our little girl. This was an extremely slow year for referrals from China. It took them a whole year to get through one month! This had been talked about in the adoption circle how the month of March 2006 was a huge month and would take a long time to get through. What that means is that there were a lot of dossiers submitted by people to China and so it took a long time to get through. We are told by our agency that China is continuing to address the length of the wait for referrals. Before and through March 2006, we are told that there were alot of dossiers submitted but after March it dropped off somewhat. So we hope that is true and that now the referrals could move along a little more quickly, but only time will tell. China's Center of Adoption Affairs has a new director now as well so I don't know what that will mean for us. They continue to try to get more orphanages to do international adoptions, but I guess it costs more to get a child ready for an international adoption because of the medical exams that need to be done to make sure the child is able to be adopted. Different organizations are working at raising money for these orphanages so that more children can be adopted. So we continue to wait. It's been 40 months now that we've been waiting for our little one from China.

As you may have read in the last post, we have decided to adopt from Ethiopia as well. I still need to get paperwork done for that and we need to have another homestudy done for this adoption. We would like to adopt a little boy and name him Samuel. So there is still a lot to be done with this adoption and I think I will finally have the time to work on what needs to be done. I think this adoption should move along quicker than the China adoption. So we'll see what happens.

We've had a busy year. We've been very thankful that Ron has continued to be able to work with the economy the way it is. Even though he works for a small company there was only a short time in the spring when they had to lay off their workers but everyone was called back by summer and they have been pretty busy since then. I continue to babysit for our neighbor's daughter every day. Since our neighbor is a teacher I still get the breaks that I'm used to getting as a teacher which is really nice. The little girl I babysit turned 2 a couple of months ago. It has been so fun to watch her grow and develop (since I started with her at 3 months old) and get some hands on experience before we have our own children. She is pretty attached to me and calls me "her Mary"! I also babysit one day a week for a friend's two children. Those children are 5 years old and 2 years old. My friend is also on the school schedule so that is nice. I've also been working a couple evenings a week for an organization called Goldenrod. They provide respite care and community habilitation for handicapped children and adults. I had two clients - one a little girl that I provided respite care for and a young woman I provided mostly community habilitation. So between babysitting and then working evenings plus being involved with our church and other responsibilities, I began feeling overwhelmed and like Ron and I didn't have much time together. So after much praying and soul searching I felt like I needed to give up my hours with Goldenrod. I enjoyed the work very much but felt like I couldn't give the time and energy that I wanted to. Plus Ron and I have had only one car for the past year and a half and it was a little tricky making everything work. We always found a way to make it work somehow. Surprisingly it has worked out pretty well for us to only have the one car.

Ron and I continue to be very involved with our church. We really enjoy the people. Ron heads up the Men's group and I do the Women's group. I continue to be on the Leadership Team and starting in January we will also be helping with the youth. This youth group is much smaller than the one we helped with at our former church. Since we taught Sunday school for the junior high and high school kids we already know the kids and enjoy being with them, so I think we will enjoy this.

The women's group just completed a study with the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan. What a great book! Someone had recommended it to me and so I suggested it for our group and we really got a lot out of it. I would recommend this to any of you. It makes you look at your life as a Christian and think about how you're living that life and if it's really how Jesus taught us to live. It's very challenging and thought provoking.

I think that is pretty much a wrap up of our year. It's hard to believe that another year has gone by. We're really hoping that by next year at this time we will have at least one of our children, if not both!! We keep praying and waiting. We would love your prayers as we wait. Have a wonderful Christmas and may we all remember the true meaning of Christmas!

three years...

2009-08-06T12:44:00.002-04:00

Well we've been waiting on our China adoption for three years now. Our anniversary for our LID was on Aug. 3, which is also our wedding anniversary. How is it we've been waiting three years and there are still 19 groups ahead of us yet? Does that mean since China matches about one group a month that we'll have 19 more months of waiting? Oh, I really hope not. I know the wait will all be worth it once we have Marisa in our arms but right now the waiting doesn't make any sense and it's hard. It's hard to watch videos of others receiving their adopted child, but yet I have feelings of happiness for the new parents and just wondering what emotions I'll be experiencing when that moment arrives for us. The waiting might not be so bad if going into this adoption we would have had an idea that it was going to be a long wait. The people that are completing their paperwork now for a China adoption realize that the wait will be longer than 3 years. But things really slowed down after we had completed our paperwork. I'm not saying we've ever wished we weren't doing an adoption from China, we're completing this adoption because we believe our little girl is in China.

We received paperwork from our agency to complete for our Ethiopian adoption so I hope to get through that stuff fairly quickly. I'm not looking too forward to doing the paperwork but it's part of the process. If we only had to rely on ourselves to complete it, it wouldn't be so bad but there are some forms and things that others need to fill out and get back to us. We still haven't decided on a name for our little guy from Ethiopia. We have been tossing around a few names but none have stuck yet.

I can't believe how quickly the summer has flown by. I've been busy tutoring, doing respite care and community habilitation with a couple of clients, trying to take care of my garden which seems to quickly become overrun with weeds, harvesting vegetables from my garden, and doing some canning and freezing of fruits and vegetables. It feels like I really haven't had much chance to enjoy the summer because I've been so busy with so many things, but it does make time go by more quickly when we're busy so I guess that's a blessing.

I try to keep a positive attitude about our adoption even though it is progressing so slowly. I know it's in God's hands even though I can't understand what is taking Him so long to bring our daughter home to us but I know He's got it all planned out and it will all come together when the time is right. With the distraction of a second adoption that may help as well. We continue to need your prayers as we endure this long wait for Marisa and also need your prayers as we pursue the adoption from Ethiopia for a little boy.

here we go again...

2009-07-02T23:12:00.003-04:00

After much prayer and discussion we have decided to go ahead with a second adoption/concurrant adoption. We are still pursuing our China adoption for Marisa, but have decided that we would like a sibling for her. Our adoption agency, Great Wall China Adoption (GWCA), has started a new division called Children of All Nations (CAN). CAN is doing adoptions from Ethiopia, Rwanda, and Mexico at this time and will be adding more countries in the future. We have decided to go with Ethiopia. We turned in our application on June 22 and it was approved. The next step was filling out a paper on our preference of gender and age for a child, along with a contract. We completed both and sent them in on June 29. So now we begin the process of compiling our dossier, which is the pile of paperwork that has to be gathered and notarized and authenticated. All of that is then sent to Ethiopia to be translated and then they use this information to match us with a child. We submitted our preference for a boy this time. We haven't agreed on a possible name yet. So now we'll be busy with getting the paperwork together and all the other things we need to do - getting fingerprinted, doctor visits, background checks, a new home study, etc. I'll be glad when that's done and hopefully none of that will have to be renewed for Ethiopia because hopefully the wait won't be as long as what we've waited for our China adoption.

As we start that adoption we have had to resubmit paperwork for our China adoption. We have to be electronically fingerprinted again in Michigan City on July 14. This will be the third time we've had to do this and the third place we've gone. Each time we've gotten a little closer to home. Once the fingerprints and other paperwork has been processed, we will receive a new I-171H form that states we have permission to adopt an orphan and this will be good for 18 months. I hope this will be the last time that we'll have to do this, and that we'll have Marisa home with us within 18 months.

Our summer is busy. I just got back from visiting a college friend in Northern Michigan. We had a wonderful time chatting, shopping, eating out, and doing nothing. We always have so much fun together. This summer I have been tutoring a former student of mine 2 days a week. I have picked up a second client for respite care and community habilitation. So between tutoring, providing respite care or community habilitation, and trying to keep up with my garden and other things, I am staying very busy! Ron's work has picked up this summer. All the guys that had been laid off were called back. That's such great news for all of those guys! So there is a lot of work right now that will need to be done before the end of summer, but they are not sure what the fall will bring. We'll be praying for continued orders to come in so that there will be work for everyone.

Ron's nephew got engaged last month. He lives in New Orleans and met a girl from down there. They've been dating for awhile. They plan to get married next year in June. They have an engagement party coming up that Ron and I hope we'll be able to attend.

So many exciting things happening! So life continues...

decisions, decisions...

2009-05-21T00:20:00.004-04:00

Since the wait has been so long for our China adoption, we are considering starting a second adoption. It's so difficult to know what to do for sure. We would be happy with one child but yet feel like it would be nice for our child to have at least one sibling. If we wait until our China adoption goes through then we will be even older and not sure about going through the whole process of starting another adoption. It's hard to decide where to adopt from. Our adoption agency started another agency that works with the countries of Rwanda, Ethiopia, and Mexico. There are some financial breaks if we decide to go with this new agency since we are already in the process with the China adoption. Of course, there is always domestic adoption as well. So there is much to consider and many prayers being said as we discern God's will of what is best for us.

waiting...

2009-05-20T07:02:00.002-04:00

There is a song by John Waller called While I'm Waiting. It's used in the movie Fireproof. I loved the song from the first time I heard it and it seems very relevant to our wait for Marisa. Here are the words:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on you Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on you Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait
I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve you
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on you Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on you Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will move ahead bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
I will move ahead bold and confident
I'll be taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting
I will serve you
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint

I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
On you Lord

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
Psalm 37:7

I waited patiently for the Lord;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
Psalm 40:1

These are the promises I cling to as we wait for Marisa.

ups and downs...

2009-02-04T23:36:00.003-05:00

Not too long ago I read the book The Shack. It is a total work of fiction but it really makes you think about God, the Trinity in a whole new way. The book has had such an affect on me I can't even explain. I would highly recommend this book.

We just saw the movie Fireproof the other weekend. That is an incredible movie and definitely something any married couple should see. What a powerful movie! Marriage is not a committment you enter into lightly. Rent or buy the movie.

I am so glad to see the days getting longer. Having it get dark so early is not something I enjoy. I love to see the sun shine like it has these past few days. It is so bright shining off the snow. It really helps brighten my mood since I do not like winter very much.

Well, we've been waiting for 2 1/2 years now on our adoption with no speed up in sight as of yet. The waiting really does take it's toll. Today I was at a low point and was thinking do we continue with this adoption? Is it really going to happen? But when? Ron and I aren't getting any younger!! But then I look at other adoption blogs where people have their daughter from China and I think that could be our little girl and my heart longs for her. So then I feel like it is right to continue this adoption no matter how long the wait is. I believe strongly that it is God that has put this desire in our hearts and if we just continue to trust his timing it will happen.

In the meantime our lives have not been put on hold. We continue to get involved and stay involved in things. It does seem we are busy most of the time. I am so thankful for that because it does make time pass by more quickly.

A couple of weekends ago, Ron and I made a trip up to Charlevoix, Michigan where my best friend from college (Brenda) lives. She had called earlier in the week to let me know her mom had passed away. Brenda's mom, June, was like another mom to me. She was such a neat lady and I have so many special memories of her. I first met June during my college years when I'd go home with Brenda for a weekend. Her mom would sit with us at the dining room table and talk to us about what was going on in college, etc. Then after college Brenda and I continued to stay in touch and would make trips back and forth to visit each other. When I visited Brenda, we always spent some time with her mom. Brenda was very close to her mom and I'm sure there is a big empty space in her life now. June told me she thought of me as another daughter. She had a wonderful full life of 86 years. Now she is home with our Heavenly Father enjoying her life in a new body. We'll see her again someday.

As time passes, it makes me sad when we lose someone here on earth that I am close to. I always think "that's one person that Marisa (our daughter) will not get to meet". But that is part of life and there will be many other wonderful people that will be a part of her life and I just need to keep remembering that. Plus she will meet all of these wonderful people someday in heaven anyway so I shouldn't be sad about it. Right?

When you think of us, please pray for us. We have our good days and bad days as we continue this long wait to bring our little girl home. We want to keep the desires of our heart in line with what God wants and not to get impatient with the wait, but to continue trusting in God's faithfulness. Also, pray for Marisa. Her saftey, health, and well-being. That she has wonderful caretakers. Pray also for her mother as she leaves her (for us to adopt) and I'm sure it is one of the hardest things she'll ever have to do and it breaks my heart that her mother will have to do this so that we can have a child. Pray for a sense of peace and comfort for her mother, that she will know that her child is loved and being well taken care of. Thanks for the support so many of you have shown during this long wait.

the day after Christmas.....

2008-12-27T00:09:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope you've had a wonderful time with family and friends. We've enjoyed our time with family. My family got together last Saturday. And we were with Ron's family on Christmas day. This year Ron and I had Christmas Eve to ourselves. It was a little strange not to get together with my family that evening since that has been our tradition for many years but with one sister living out of town it doesn't always work out best to get together on Christmas Eve now. So Ron and I ordered a pizza and had our own little movie marathon. We had fun watching the movies: The Christmas Story; Miracle on 34th Street; National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation; and the Family Stone. We had planned to go to a friend's party and then to the 11 pm service at church but the weather was not all that great so we just stayed home.
The winter so far has been rather strange at times. We have had an ice storm. We've been having freezing rain, sleet, and rain. Yesterday, Christmas Day, was a beautiful day. The roads were not all so great and probably won't be for a while. Most of the main roads have been cleared off but the county roads and side streets are covered in ice yet. And now the temps are rising with it supposed to get up to 58 degrees tomorrow and some more rain. So with melting snow and falling rain we are likely to have flooding in certain areas. Today since it was so icy, our county was under a state of emergency urging people to stay off the roads unless it was absolutely necessary to go out. So we spent the day inside.

waiting 28 months....

2008-12-14T14:52:00.003-05:00

Here it is December again. Each year I keep thinking this will be the year we have our little girl with us at Christmas, but it's not to be yet. 28 months so far and still waiting. Referrals came in this month but the cut off date for referrals was Feb. 23, 2006 and so the next group from our agency didn't receive any referrals since their date is Feb. 28, 2006. So we did not move up this month. We still have 24 groups of people waiting ahead of us.
Today is quite a windy and dreary day. All the snow that we had has melted. It was raining some today so it's damp and cold. Not a nice combination. Doesn't quite seem like winter except for the cold weather. I am hoping for a white Christmas even though I don't care for a lot of snow. If I can stay in all the time I don't mind snow at all!
Today at church during the 10 am service the kids put on a Christmas program. They did a nice job. It didn't seem like any of them were nervous and that they really enjoyed doing it.
Ron and I have been with a group that started our service at church. There was a group of us that were meeting together and we were introduced to another group from this church that were basically looking for the same things in a church. So we are now working together and have been for about a year. We have the early service at church -- 8:30 am. Yes, it's rather early and hard to get up that early on a Sunday morning but it has definitely been worth it. Our service is a contemporary worship service with contemporary praise singing. We focus on relevant messages to reach people who don't go to church or haven't been in a church for a while or are looking for something different. It has been a great experience to be involved the way we have been and to get to know some great people. We are really enjoying it. Not to say there are difficult times to work through but that's all the process of developing this service and finding what God wants us to do.
This church is a small church. We hope to help bring more people in and help them find joy in living a life for Christ.

An update....

2008-11-23T23:18:00.003-05:00

Well, as you can see by the counter at the top of this page we have been waiting for 27 months now -- 28 months on Dec. 3. It's sometimes hard to believe that we have actually been waiting this long. In some ways it seems forever that we've been waiting and in other ways it doesn't seem that long. Of course, life doesn't stop and we can't put our life on hold till we have our daughter. We have to keep living our lives and going on with things. That probably does help the time to pass quickly. Referrals continue to come in for groups, but we still have 24 groups ahead of us. Part of the slowness of the process is that our agency doesn't always get referrals every month because the cut off date for China's matching was earlier than what the next LID was for our agency. So that means we don't move up that month. So we wait and hope that before our paperwork expires again we will be on our way to China to pick up Marisa. Our paperwork expires again in July. We can renew it but it just means filling out more forms, being fingerprinted AGAIN!, and having more expense to have everything processed. And of course, we will renew it when the time comes but we're really hoping that things speed up here soon so that we won't need to.

So our lives continue. We have been busy. Ron's work continues to be busy which we're so thankful for. With so many places shutting down or laying people off, it's a scary time. I continue to babysit for our neighbor's little girl. It is fun to watch her development. Kids are so amazing and how quickly they learn and grow! She turned a year old in October. I also continue to work for MDC Goldenrod and provide respite care for a mother of a 7 year old and fill in to work with the adults from time to time. I have also taken on another babysitting job for a friend that works one day a week. She has two children. One is 4 years old and the other will turn a year old this week. So having three at one time is a challenge at times, but gives me lots of good experience!

Ron and I have been very active in starting a new service at the church we are attending. With change comes many challenges but we are really enjoying getting to know new people and making new friends. It is really interesting to be involved in starting something like this. We have never been a part of something like this. We are also teaching Sunday school. Ron teaches the high school class and I teach the middle school class. It has been fun getting to know the kids. And there is Bible Study once a week. So we keep busy. With the challenges we've faced, comes many rewards. We feel like we are where God wants us to be. I know that if we had Marisa right now it would be hard to be giving so much time to this new service that is needed. So I'm sure this is all in God's plan for us and things are all happening in God's time.

So that's a little update on what's happening with us. I know it's been a long time since my last post. Like I've said before, it's hard to post when nothing is really happening with the adoption. We just continue to ask for your prayers as we continue on this adoption journey.

still waiting at 24 months....

2008-08-11T00:44:00.003-04:00

Well, our 2 year anniversary date of waiting for our adoption was on Aug. 3. Which is also our wedding anniversary -- now 6 years. So we continue to wait with changes happening in paperwork that needs to filed, etc. As I posted earlier some of our paperwork expired (yes, some of these things actually expire) and we had to refile some things and have finger prints redone as well. The paperwork we refiled will expire in July of 2009. If we have not completed our adoption by then, we will have to refile our paperwork again but this time with the new forms and I'm not sure what all of that will mean. I've read that some people are saying it could mean having to resubmit all of our paperwork (our complete dossier) and that would mean completely starting over and losing our place in line. So we would be back to square one. I cannot imagine after waiting for over 2 years and not even completing an adoption, having to start over completely! I just don't see how the government can do that! It just doesn't make any sense to me. But I have asked these questions of our agency and am waiting to hear back from them.
This waiting really does take it's toll. To see referrals come in so slowly and barely moving up the line to be closer to completing our adoption is so hard. I just can't even explain the mixture of emotions I've experienced through this time. It continues to be difficult to explain to people. We can't explain why it is taking so long. There is only so much the Chinese officials share with our agency and our agency shares those things with us. It sounds like China is trying to remedy the issues but who knows when we'll feel the effect of it. And we can't contact someone to make the process go any faster. We've done all we can and now it's in the hands of the Chinese. There's nothing more we can do but wait.
We just continue to ask for your prayers for us during this difficult time of waiting, and trying to understand why it is taking so long. We realize God's timing is perfect but our human minds don't understand why His timing is so far into the future.

My 44th Birthday

2008-07-15T12:27:00.002-04:00

I can't believe I'm 44 today!! You know 44 doesn't feel that old but now I'm on my way to 50! Wow! Where does the time go?! What a great birthday present it would be to hear that we have a daughter. But that's not going to happen today. The last set of referrals came in earlier this month and now we have 26 groups of people ahead of us. In a few weeks we'll have been waiting for 24 months! I never would have thought that we would still be waiting at this time when we submitted our paperwork. Sometimes it seems like we've been waiting forever and other times it seems like it couldn't be that long already. I guess we just go on with our daily lives and time does pass fairly quickly.
So today being my birthday and still not being a mother makes me long for it even more, and wondering how many more birthdays, mother's days, father's days, and Christmases will go by before we have our little girl. It's so hard for me not to buy things for Marisa. My best friend, Brenda, will give us things for Marisa periodically and it is so much fun to get those things but it makes me miss Marisa even more. Can you miss someone you haven't met yet? Marisa has been growing in my heart for over 2 years now, so I guess until I hold that little girl in my arms I guess I can miss her.
This summer I am not babysitting for the neighbor's little girl, since our neighbor is a teacher and off for the summer. I think it really helped to watch her little girl because it occupied my time and I was learning about a little one. Now I seem to think about Marisa more since I don't have a little one to keep me so occupied.
So how am I spending my day today....I did some laundry and hung it out on the line, I spent some time in my flower beds and garden, pulled weeds, picked beans and peas (from my garden), pulled up some onions, spent some time going through past emails, and plan to do some scrapbooking and reading later today. Ron and I are going to go to Cook's Pizza for dinner -- one of my favorite little diners. Love their pizza!! Last night we went to Ron's parents and his mom made me a yummy dinner. I ate too much because it was all so good!

Lately I've been reading more on "living green". We are such a wasteful society. We don't fix or have things fixed anymore because many times it's cheaper to buy another new. Well, I really feel like we aren't serving God by being so wasteful. I have become more conscious of the waste I do have and have really tried to minimize. I am careful about the paper products we use -- not using as much. We've recycled for a while now but being more aware and seeing what other things can be recycled or reusing things. The other thing I am looking at is all the "stuff" we have. Do we really need all of this "stuff"? And why is it so hard to get rid of the "stuff"? I really would like to minimize and not have so much stuff. I am trying to be aware of what we already have and when I come across something that I think I would like to have, I consider why I want it and do I really want to add it to our other accumulated "stuff". Maybe it is just getting older that makes me think this way, but I do want my daughter to grow up respecting her environment and taking steps to not add to the pollution and waste that are so much a part of our world. I want her to love this earth that God has given us and learn to do her part to take care of it. We are taking small steps. There is more that we can do and step by step we'll continue to do more. If everyone takes small steps it will make a huge impact, more than I think we realize.

Waiting and earthquakes...

2008-05-30T12:16:00.003-04:00

Well, here we are waiting for almost 22 months already (it'll be 22 months on June 3). It's hard to believe sometimes that it has been that long and other times it seems like it has been much longer. I haven't been doing a very good job keeping up with posting but it is really hard to post when nothing is happening and there's nothing new to share.

I'm sure that you've heard about the earthquakes in China recently. As to how that will affect our adoption and the waiting....we don't know. I think there are a lot of unknowns since the Chinese are still just trying to get organized and figure out what to do next because of the damage. I've read that there are many children left orphaned due to the earthquakes. But now the Chinese people want to adopt those children, which I can't blame them and they should have first chance. So I don't know how that will work or what kind of policies the Chinese are going to have to put into place for that. So there is a lot going on right now in China that affects a lot of their people and we don't know how all of that is going to affect us here in the U.S.

The referrals continue to come in once a month but only for one group of people and so that makes it very slow. We have 28 groups of people ahead of us yet and I sure hope that they don't continue only doing one group per month because that will take another 2 years!!!

Ron turned 50 in April! I had a couple of surprise parties for him. I pretty much was able to pull them off without him being too suspicious. It was fun and I think he enjoyed the surprises and seeing people that we don't see a lot.

I'm just sad that it's taking so long to get Marisa. Another Mother's Day has gone by and I'm still not a mother. Another Father's Day will go by and Ron's still not a father. We'll each have another birthday and I'm afraid another Christmas will go by without our little girl. It's very frustrating but there's nothing we can do but wait and pray for things to speed along. With so many things beyond our control it is really hard because being a person that likes to have control of situations it is teaching me to give up that control and lean more heavily on God. God is in control of the situation I firmly believe. I know His timing is always better than what ours could possibly be so even though we want Marisa right now, I know God has something even better planned for the time when we are finally able to bring her home. Please continue praying for us as we wait because it isn't easy.

Waiting 19 months and 3 weeks.....

2008-03-25T23:16:00.002-04:00

Well, I don't think we ever thought we'd be waiting this long for our little girl. We just completed another update for our home study. Indiana law requires a home study to be updated every 12 months. So we had to be fingerprinted (again!), and have background checks done, a visit to the doctor for a letter saying we're still in good health and have a TB test done. Sometimes it just seems all we do is prepare for our little one and there is no progress toward getting her. I know that's not true but when the progress is so slow it makes for a very difficult wait.

Referrals seem to be coming in at the beginning of each month - which is great but they don't usually cover very many LID dates. At this point we have 29 LID groups ahead of us yet waiting for their referrals. The last group of people that received referrals waited 26 months. I wish the wait would stay at 26 months or less but I'm not sure that will happen. If the wait would stay at 26 months we would only have about 6 more months of waiting and after almost 20 months of waiting, waiting 6 more months would not seem that long. But there is no guarantee that that will be the case and it is just wishful thinking on my part.

I know it's hard for everyone to understand why it's taking so long and then people talk to other people about how long their wait was and it wasn't this long, etc. But every family has a unique situation they are going through. Right now China is still one of the more stable countries for adoption and has a good system in place -- even though it sounds like it needs to be updated and they are making changes to help improve their process so the wait isn't as long. But until we feel the effects of those changes no one knows. I am encouraged that they are still taking dossiers for adoptions which makes me believe there are still many children that are in need of families. Also, nothing is being said about closing the country to adoption. So I do know if we can just hang in there, we will have our little girl at the end of this very long wait.

Not having any children and longing for them is really difficult for people to understand unless you've been through it yourself. There is a certain amount of grief you feel for the children you can't have, there's depression wondering what is wrong with me, there is such a feeling of aloneness and lack of understanding from people. People don't mean to be hurtful in what they say but many things that are said are very hurtful. It is hard to hear about another friend or person from church being pregnant or another invitation to a baby shower. It's not that I'm not happy for these people, but it just hits me like a ton of bricks that I can't have a child of my own and I'm still waiting. Until she's in my arms it will be difficult. Here are a couple of articles that may help explain how I and others who are longing for children feel and what we wish others knew.
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secret sorrow
by Donna Dunn

I knew I should have stayed home. A list of the names of more than a dozen babies and their parents appeared on a colorful insert in the church bulletin. I’d completely forgotten it was baby dedication day. Only a few friends knew my husband and I had undergone fertility testing with discouraging results. When my eyes began to fill with tears as parents made their way to the altar, I quietly slipped out so I could cry privately. I felt completely alone.

About six million people in the United States experience infertility. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, ten percent of the reproductive-age population is affected by infertility and childlessness, and they need your support.

Recognize the Reality
John Van Regenmorter, Director of Stepping Stones, a ministry for those experiencing infertility, and co-author of When the Cradle Is Empty, says the support of friends and family is essential. According to Van Regenmortor, “Of all the letters we receive, most [people] say something about how alone they feel. There’s a real need to find at least one other couple with whom they can share their infertility struggle.”

Infertility is often called a secret sorrow. It’s not discussed like other medical conditions. Couples experiencing infertility have depression rates equal to those experiencing cancer, according to the infertility support group Resolve. Understanding the pain of infertility is an important first step in supporting those in the midst of this struggle.

Listen With Your Heart
Blessing the infertile can sometimes come as much from what you do as what you say. “The most supportive thing was receiving cards and notes of encouragement,” Suzanne remembers. “Sometimes it’s nice to have friends communicate their love, encouragement, and prayer support without requiring any questions to be answered or any explanations given.” Suzanne knows friends and family mean well, but some days she just doesn’t feel like discussing the details of their family’s infertility journey. She says, “True friends…just walked with us.”

Van Regenmorter says friends and family members should also avoid pat answers. Some of the most common phrases heard about infertility are some of the least helpful.

“Relax and it’ll happen.” Not only is this statistically untrue, it makes the couple feel as if they’re doing something wrong. Those who say this would never say to a cancer patient, “Relax and it’ll go away.”

“My friend tried…” Success stories may seem encouraging, but it’s important to remember that no two situations are the same.

“If you adopt, you’ll get pregnant.” Again, statistics show that infertile couples who adopt are no more likely to get pregnant than infertile couples who do not. It makes adoption sound like a lesser choice. Adoptive parents, such as Cheri, know adoption is not a second best. “I wish someone would have told me (early on) that adoption is as great as it is and that God has other ways to give us children and can bless that.”

Extend Grace
The ache of childlessness is more acute at special events and during certain times of the year. Be considerate. Infertile couples appreciate sensitivity – whether it’s a private conversation, saying it’s okay to miss a baby shower, or a note of encouragement during a difficult holiday.

The Van Regenmorters experienced 14 years of infertility before adopting two children. Later, they also had a biological child. They encourage families, friends, and even ministers to think of the childless when celebrating holidays and special events. Baby showers, baby dedications, and child-centered holidays can be especially difficult.

“For a season, say, ‘No.’ It doesn’t mean it’s forever,” Van Regenmorter says. “Couples should not feel guilty and others should not make them feel guilty about not accepting invitations to baby showers and other similar events.”

Pray and Trust God
Befriending an infertile couple doesn’t mean fixing the situation. Only God can work out the plans He has for each family. Yet, giving the situation over to God in prayer is powerful.

Suzanne recalls one friend who let her know she was praying, and that helped Suzanne through an especially difficult day. “One card in particular appeared on our front door the day of our scheduled appointment to try artificial insemination,” Suzanne remembers. “Our friend knew we were scheduled for the appointment and wrote in her note that she’d be on her knees during the time of our doctor’s appointment. It still brings me to tears to think of that note.”

God’s plans for an infertile couple are often beyond our greatest expectations. This year, I’m celebrating with two children, brought into our lives in wonderful and unexpected ways. I’m eternally grateful for them and for the journey that brought me to them.

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Longing for a baby: what my life is like
By MaDonna Medley

(*I’ve added my own words in parentheses. -Mary)

For the past seven years, my husband and I have been trying to start a family. Infertility has been a struggle that I definitely did not ask for, but I am growing stronger because of it.

As a result of our difficult journey, God has led me to minister not only to those who struggle to become parents, but also those who have been blessed with children. My hope and prayer is that I can gently help those who have never experienced infertility to understand what life is like when you are longing for a baby.

To wake me up in the mornings, I need to set an alarm clock because there are no little ones to jump onto my bed urging me to wake up.

I take my time getting ready in the mornings because I don’t have anyone to dress but myself.

Instead of changing dirty diapers, I change a puppy pad. (I change the cat litter.)

Instead of preparing lunch for school, I pour fresh food and water for my dog. (I give my cat fresh food and water.)

Instead of tiny fingerprints on my front door, I have old stains because I haven’t cleaned the glass in a few months.

I have no clue what it’s like to have a dryer full of little clothes that are “so aggravating” to fold.

I don’t have a diaper genie, a changing table, or a crib – only a bunk bed that is filled with junk we pile up throughout the week. (I do have a changing table and crib but the nursery feels so empty without our little girl.)

My picture frames are filled with pictures of friends’ children because I haven’t had an opportunity to capture the beauty in the faces of my own.

My husband and I don’t have any family portraits because we don’t have a “family” (as defined by the world).

We haven’t had our picture taken in eight years because we feel incomplete.

There are no toys filling every area of my living room floor – only dirt dragged in by our shoes.

When I want to have a quiet moment, all I have to do is turn off the television.

The only birthday parties we celebrate are those of other children.

When we go to church, we feel like the “fairly odd couple” because everybody else has something in common.

No, I don’t know what labor pains feel like.

No, I don’t know what it feels like to carry your world in your womb for nine months.

And when I think I might be pregnant, I’m haunted by all of the “negatives” during the past eight years.

I can’t plan children, only “times” to try for them.

I have no more vacation/sick days left at work. (because I’ve used them to get things ready for the adoption, or I feel so down I can’t take a day at work.)

I never hear, “We’re praying for you and believing in you,” but rather “It’ll happen” or “Maybe if you adopt…”

I feel guilty every day. I feel like a failure to God, my husband, my parents, my church, and myself.

I’ve never heard “I love you, Mommy!”

If you have never experienced the pain of infertility, you can’t relate. However, you can pray for us. We long to have what you have. If we don’t congratulate you about your new baby or if we walk out of the room during a baby dedication or an infant baptism, please don’t be offended. These moments remind us of what’s missing in our lives.

Don’t miss an opportunity to hug, kiss, or play with your children. Take advantage of every moment you have with them. Take care of them and raise them to love the Lord. And never miss the opportunity to say to your children, “I love you!”

For those who know what I’m feeling right now, stay strong. Love those who have what you long for. Most important, pray for them. Be happy for them, even when it hurts the most. Trust in Jesus!

Enjoying my time

2008-01-18T21:54:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm enjoying my time at home. It's nice to be able to get things done throughout the week and not having to leave everything till the weekend. I do have a "job". I am watching our neighbor's baby. Our neighbor is a teacher and she just started back to work this week after her maternity leave. So this was my first week with her little one. It's been enjoyable taking care of such a little one. Marisa won't be that little when we bring her home, but it does give me the chance to get used to having a little one around.

I'm not really missing teaching. The only thing I miss are my students. Some of them I'd been with since Kindergarten or First grade so it was hard to leave them behind. But it is also a good lesson in adapting to change and being flexible. Life is always bringing changes and we all need to learn to adapt and run with the changes and make the best out of them. I do enjoy being home and not feeling the stress that I felt with teaching.

A new year has begun.....

2008-01-01T01:40:00.000-05:00

Well, here we are beginning a new year. Making resolutions to do things differently. Hoping this is the year we will bring our daughter home. The year seems to go by quickly but not when I think of my little girl. I don't want to wish time away but I do want time to pass quickly till she is at home with us. But I know time will not stand still when we have her at home, it will pass by way too quickly and we'll wonder where the time has gone. I look forward to the new year and what it will bring. Hopefully it will bring many wonderful things for many people. Happy New Year to all!!

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-24T12:09:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas everyone! It's hard to believe it's that time again. How quickly time flies by except when you're waiting for your child from China! We have been waiting for 16 months and 3 weeks now. We've kept busy but the wait is still hard, wondering when we finally get to have our little girl in our arms and home with us.

I have made the difficult decision to resign from teaching. My last day was December 21. I've been teaching special ed for 19 years so I feel like it's time for me to take a break anyway. This gives me time to prepare for our little girl and be free to complete any other paperwork that we may need to take care of.

We are hoping this is the last Christmas without Marisa. We hope that next year she'll be here with us and be able to celebrate Christmas with us. It's always difficult when another Christmas, another Mother's Day, and another Father's Day goes by without our child. Hopefully this next year will be filled with many wonderful surprises, including our little Marisa from China!

CyberShower Gift

2007-10-13T13:26:00.000-04:00

Trick or Treat was the CyberShower theme for the yahoo! group Waiting for First Child from China. We received a cute Halloween long sleeved onesie, 2 pairs of socks, pez dispencer, note pad, glass pumpkin candle holder, Hello Kitty trick or treat bag, dark chocolate Hershey's Kisses (we won't be waiting to eat those until Marisa comes home! :) ). Our cybershower pals were Cyndi and Dean from California.

We're out of review!!

2007-09-29T15:48:00.000-04:00

We received an email from our agency on Thursday, Sept. 27 that August LID families are out of review!!! Our LID is Aug. 3, 2006. We are now in the final waiting stage of the adoption. We are now in the "pending referral" stage, but still have a lot of people ahead of us yet. So we could still be waiting for a while yet. The last referrals that came in had a 22 month wait. It's depressing to think that the wait could possibly get longer. It's so hard to understand how it could possibly get any longer! But we wait, not always so patiently, but we wait and pray for God's will in all of this. We have now been waiting for over 13 months. It will be 14 months on Oct. 3. So hopefully we are past the halfway mark of waiting. It sometimes seems unreal that we have actually been waiting this long. We continue to ask for your prayers as we continue on this long journey.

Waiting for one year....

2007-08-07T22:50:00.000-04:00

Well, it's been one year now that we've been waiting. It doesn't seem that the wait is getting any shorter. The year really has gone by quickly and it has actually given Ron and I a chance to get a lot of things done. We still have some projects we'd like to complete before we bring Marisa home.

We just got back from Florida yesterday. We had spent 10 days in Florida at Ron's parents' place in Sarasota. We had a great time. We went to the pool almost every day, we went to the beach one day, went to Mote Aquarium, saw the Sarasota Reds play (they are a minor league baseball team), went out to eat every day, spent some time with my cousin Doug and saw his baby, spent some time with my aunt Erma and uncle Dave, slept in, napped, watched some movies, it was great!

Now it's back to work and school is starting again next week already! Where has the summer gone?! I've really enjoyed my summer. I was able to go to Charlevoix, Michigan and spend a few days with my college friend, Brenda. My sister and I took a trip to southern Indiana to visit our other sister and nephews. I also spent a few days with 2 other friends that live down near my sister. I've been able to finish some projects I've wanted to complete. Ron and I took a much needed vacation. So it's been a busy summer but a very nice one.

I've had a garden for the past few years, but this is the first year I've actually canned green beans from my garden! I also froze strawberries and applesauce. I want to freeze sweet corn and can peaches as well. It's so fun to do these things! I never thought I would say that!

I've decided to continue with our website here since I was having trouble with the other one in posting pictures, etc. This site seems to be so much easier to work with. So I hope you'll continue to follow along in our adoption journey!

Information about international adoption

2007-08-07T20:29:00.000-04:00

We have learned many things about international adoption. Each country does things a little differently and have different expectations, but there are some things like the paperwork that is pretty much the same. These are some of the things that we have learned and have had to do for our adoption from China.

The Process:
I've been wanting to take some time and share a little bit about the process we went through to get our dossier together. Of course, I should have been better with the record keeping but I didn't document timeframes for each step. So I don't remember how long each step in the process was exactly.

--We began to think about adoption, more me than Ron. Then we went to an adoption conference in the fall of 2005 to learn more about adoption.
--We submitted our application to the adoption agency that we decided to use, Great Wall China Adoption (GWCA) at the end of November 2005.
--Our application was approved by the agency in early December 2005, and so the journey officially began. I waited until January 2006 to begin gathering the documents we needed.
--These are the things we needed to do and paperwork we needed to gather together for the dossier:
--write a letter to the Chinese officials explaining why we would like to adopt from China
--birth certificates for each of us
--marriage certificate
--medical forms: we each had to have a physical completed by our doctors and then a form completed and signed by the doctors saying that we are in good health and we would make good parents
--employment status letter: we each had to get a letter from each of our employers stating that we were currently employed with them, what our salary is
--financial statement: we had to complete a statement giving our financial status
--police report for each of us
--home study report*
--CIS approval -- approval to adopt an orphan**
Some of the documents we had to obtain we had to get more than one since not only did we need it for the homestudy but also for our dossier. So some things were double which of course doubled the expenses. Many things we had to complete consisted of waiting on others for an appointment or to complete something for us on our paperwork, etc. So no matter how quickly we complete what we needed to do, we still had to wait on others. Their urgency in completing things wasn't the same as ours! But for the most part things seem to move along rather smoothly.

*For our home study we had to be fingerprinted at a state police headquarters. We were fingerprinted with the black ink. It was an interesting experience since neither one of us had ever been fingerprinted before! We had to meet several times with the social workers from our home study agency. In their report they included (and so of course had to ask us tons of questions) our motivation to adopt; each of our family backgrounds including education level completed, employment history, religious information, our interests, etc.; marital status and our relationship with each other, and our relationship with extended family; health status - the medical form we had completed by the doctor; our financial status; criminal history - finger printing and background check; a description of our home and neighborhood; what we've done to prepare to be a parent; references - we had to have 3 non-family members write references for us; and then they included their recommendations for adopting a girl from China between the ages of 6 and 15 months old.

**For the CIS approval we had to submit an application with our birth certificates and marriage certificate and then we were given a fingerprinting appointment. We went to Indianapolis and had our fingerprints taken electronically. Then a background check was done on each of us. After the background check came back we were sent a form saying we were approved.

All the above things had to be notarized, state certified (sent to Indy to be certified that each notary was truly a notary)--so a signed page was attached to each of our documents and then returned to us; and then we sent them to the Chinese Consulate in Chicago to have them authenticated. These came back to us with another page signed and stapled on top of each document.

Other documents we had to obtain were passports. Ron had to get one and I had to renew mine. We had to include some photos of us around the house and outside the house doing things we normally do.

All of these things were compiled and sent in to our agency in Austin, Texas. We had to have it to them before Wednesday of a week and if so and everything was okay they would send it to China the Friday of that same week. So we made sure we had it there before a Wednesday and they reviewed it and found it okay to send on Friday.

Our agency would send us chapter of the adoption manual they have as we needed them to complete the next step in the process. So to complete all the paperwork needed was outlined in detail in the information they sent us. Also, I communicated with them many times through email. I could scan things and send them in an email to see if we had completed paperwork correctly before submitting it. That was great, so then if it needed to be fixed, we could fix it before submitting it and wasting the time of having it returned to us to fix and then resubmitting it. So that helped alot.

What we're learning....
During this waiting time I am educating myself on what to expect when we meet Marisa for the very first time and what to expect after that. It is all very interesting and heartbreaking as well. First of all I'm beginning to understand the effects of being institutionalized (being in an orphanage). As good as the 'aunties' (that's what the caretakers are called in the orphanages), they can't care for all of the babies/children like parents would in their home. They have to divide their attention among many, many children and can't possibly meet all of the children's needs on demand. It is sad but a fact. And this will have an effect on Marisa. How could it not?
Many times when parents are first handed their babies in China, the babies tend to be crying, listless, won't make eye contact, have poor muscle tone. First of all, of course they are going to be crying and listless. They are being placed in the arms of a stranger and being taken away from the people they've known. Plus we don't look like them. We may even appear ugly and very scary to them. We're just thinking, 'oh this is our baby and we're going to give her a much better life than she had in the orphanage' but needing to realize it's not about us but about her and how are we going to make sure that she feels safe and know that we are not going to leave her. Something that will take time. As far as the poor muscle tone, since the children are in cribs for most of the day they don't develop the muscle tone children do when they get out of the crib and crawl and sit up, etc. But it is encouraging to learn that with encouragement and the one-on-one care the children receive after they're adopted, they develop that rather quickly.

I know once we return home with Marisa, there will be many people that will want to see Marisa and hold her, etc. But that will really have to be limited. This poor child will have gone through so much already that we need to limit the amount of stimuli and chaos in her life until she is comfortable and ready for it. This could take several months.
There are also issues with children forming an attachment with their adoptive parents. When a baby is born to a parent, the attachment usually begins at birth. Well, Marisa may have attached to her mom only to have been relinquished to an orphanage. Then at the orphanage she has either attached to an auntie or learned not to get attached to people. So we will need to try to change her way of thinking. That is why when we first arrive home from China, Ron and I may be the only ones to hold her just to help with that whole process of attachment and bonding to us her parents. I know this is going to be difficult for relatives but we need to put our own feelings aside and do what's best for Marisa. There will be time when everyone can love on her later, but at first their love will have to be shown by giving some space and time.

I've also learned that parenting will be very different for an adopted child compared to a biological child. From the things I've read, the child may question where they belong, have difficulty dealing with the whole issue of being relinquished and are they going to be left by the adoptive parents, finding their identity especially in the teen-age years could be a very difficult time. So are just some very different issues that we, as parents, may be facing compared to things you've come across with your biological children. It will be very important for Ron and I to have decided how we will tell Marisa about how she came into our family and what happened before in China. We always want to be open with her but put things in a positive light because none of this was due to a mistake she made or something she did.

As I'm learning, it's not just about taking a child into your home, giving them a family, and loving them, it will take much understanding and trying to figure out what the child is thinking and how they can be made to feel secure. I realize that we may not have these issues with Marisa. Some parents have these issues with their adopted children and others don't. I do feel it is important to be educated and know what to expect and what the warning signs could be to these things. I'd rather be prepared and not need the information, than to not be prepared and feel helpless.

Gifts from my secret pal

2007-08-07T19:28:00.000-04:00

To help pass the time, I have joined several Yahoo! Groups. One group is for people with a DTC in July or August 2006. So we will probably get our referrals around the same time. One thing this group is doing for anyone that wants to participate is Secret Pals. There is a different theme for each month. It is fun getting that gift once a month. It gives us something to look forward to. It's fun sending a gift as well. I have posted pictures of the gifts we received from our secret pal.

For the month of September my Secret Pal sent some books, and she painted letters of Marisa's name. We need to hang those up in her room.
My secret pal always includes something that is Mary Engelbreit. She also wrote that when her little girl plays she likes to pretend to be "Mary Huber". I just thought that was so funny!

For October's theme, my Secret Pal surprised me with a pretty pink hooded towel, some washcloths, letters to play with in the bathtub, a pink rubber duck that tells if the bath water is too hot, and a small Mary Engelbreit photo album.

November's theme was ladybugs.
Aren't these ladybug boots just adorable?!?! I just love them and can't wait for Marisa to be able to wear them!

For December: Great bedtime gifts from my secret pal! The Mary Engelbreit book - The Night Before Christmas, and 2 music CDs.

For January: Wonderful mealtime gifts! 2 bibs and plastic disposable cups and bowls with lids, along with spoons.

For February: We received some cute little socks, hair bands, and the cutest ladybug sunglasses! Also, another Mary Engelbreit book!

For March: Some calming and fun music to listen to with Marisa. Also, some cute Mary Engelbreit note cards!

For April: A pretty picture frame, a very nice photo album to display all those photos we'll have of Marisa some day, and note cards with an M on the front for either me or Marisa to use.

For May: Nice things for traveling - wash mitts, pacifiers, ladybug keychain, toy keys, and another little photo album. We are going to have so many nice ways to display the pictures of Marisa.

For June the theme was toys. My wonderful secret pal sent a cloth purse that included toy lipstick, debit card, coin purse, mirror, cell phone. She also sent a maracca. Plus a small Mary Engelbreit photo album and stickers. :) The purse is sooooo cute! I can't wait for Marisa to be able to play with it!

July was the final month of our secret pal exchange. My secret pal sent me this beautiful Mary Engelbreit print. She also revealed herself. Her name is Rebecca from New York. I really enjoyed receiving her gifts each month. She sent such nice gifts for me and Marisa. Now I can't wait to frame this print and hang it in Marisa's room.

The Wait....

2007-08-07T18:10:00.000-04:00

Now that our dossier is in the hands of the CCAA (it was sent to China on July 14, 2006), we wait till they can get to our file to match us with a child. Once a match is made this is called a referral. The CCAA will send our referral with a group of referrals to our agency. Our agency will then contact us. The referral will contain a picture or pictures of the child, the age, and some limited health and misc. information. There could be the slight chance that even though we asked for a girl, they could match us with a boy and we would be fine with that.

Our dossier was officially logged in at the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) on August 3, 2006. We sent it over to China on July 14, 2006 and then it had to be officially logged in. The log in date is the date that we use to keep track of the progress of our paperwork and we'll be able to see when it's getting close to our turn for a referral.

1/3/07: The last referrals were made for all those people who had LID dates for September 2005 (our LID is 8/3/06). It is being reported that we could have a 15 to 16 month wait for a referral. I hope it doesn't get much longer than that. I'm hoping that soon they will have referrals for those with LID dates for October 2005. I hope they have referrals for the entire month of October but sometimes they just do referrals for a couple of weeks.

2/1/07: More referrals have come in up through about the middle of October 2005 LIDs. For our agency there were 39 referrals with 36 of those being girls and 3 boys, and there was also one set of twins.

6/6/07: There have been referrals coming in for several dates each month and I haven't been keeping up with listing them. At this point China has matched children through LIDs of Nov. 7, 2005. So as you can see there is a ways to go before they hit August 3, 2006. Now the wait is being said to be 18 months. That would mean we would have 8 more months of waiting.

Here are pictures of Marisa's room.

We found this nice crib at Babies R Us and the matching dresser. We painted the room a sage green and put up this pink border. It's hard to see but the border has cute butterflies and other cute bugs on it.

It doesn't have to be costly to decorate the room and have it look nice. The lamp shade and valance I found on clearance but they look so nice in the room. The little Chinese doll sitting on top of the dresser was handmade in China.

This piece of furniture Ron had and so we are going to use as the changing table. I still have to get the pad but think this will work nicely.

The blanket hanging on the crib is a blanket that my mom and I made. I plan to take it with us to China when we go to get Marisa. I found this very pretty red fabric and knew I wanted to make a blanket out of it for her. I also made the dust ruffle and the fitted sheet for the crib. Right now the crib has a baby quilt on it that my grandma made.

The bookshelf keeps getting more books. I love books and hope to pass the love of reading onto Marisa.

About us...

2007-08-07T17:55:00.000-04:00

Ron and I met on a blind date. Ron's cousin and wife live neighbors to a close friend of mine. They decided we should meet. We were both so busy that we didn't find a day that worked for all of us till the end of the summer (in 2001). Well needless to say, we hit it off and were engaged on April 19, 2002. We were married on August 3, 2002 -probably the hottest day of the year, or at least most people would say that!! Our church wasn't air conditioned at the time, so it was kind of miserable but a very memorable day! :)

Ron works as a shop supervisor at Lue Manufacturing, Inc. They make countertops and cabinets for residential and commercial customers. He has been there for many years. I continue to work as an elementary special education teacher. I have been at the same school now for about 14 years or so, I think. (It's hard to remember once you've been there what seems like forever!) The field of special education has made many changes over the years, so my job continues to change as well. I really enjoy the children that I work with.

Ron and I both enjoy doing home improvement types of things. The past few years we have been working on our landscaping. I suppose as home owners there is probably always something to do in the area of landscaping, but for the most part we have things the way we want them. I enjoy gardening. I have a nice little garden that Ron and my dad put in surrounded by a small picket fence (to keep out unwanted critters!).

We both enjoy movies. When we were dating we saw a lot of movies. Now that we're married it seems we don't find the time to go see many movies. I guess that's what happens.

Ron is a big White Sox fan. He enjoys collecting anything that involves the White Sox. I love anything Mary Engelbreit, which is what I've decorated the kitchen in.

I also enjoy doing things on the computer and continue to learn to do new things. I have really enjoyed putting together this site for our family and friends. I continue to learn how to add things and do new things to this site.

I really love animals and Ron wasn't a big fan when we first got married. At the time I had a cat, Tasha, who was about 13 years old. She had been with me through all of my moves and ups & downs in life after college. I loved her like my child. Ron came to like her but was unsure of her since she was old and had arthritis. I also had a guinea pig. I would've never thought I would fall in love with a rodent!! My students begged me to let them bring one of their baby guinea pigs to school to keep in our classroom as a pet. I wasn't so sure about that and told them that they had to be responsible for cleaning the cage and feeding it. So one of my students brought an all black baby guinea pig to school and they named him Domino (not quite sure where that name came from since he was all black!). Well, he won my heart and eventually I brought him home to stay. Ron wasn't so thrilled about Domino but it was a package deal when he married me. :) Well, Tasha died a couple of years ago and Domino died about a year ago. It was so sad, especially Tasha's death. But now we have Zoe (pronounced Zoey), a stray kitten that Ron found and wished he wouldn't have. Seriously though, we love Zoe and are glad to have her a part of our lives. Maybe someday we can add a dog to our family. I would love to have a small farm! Don't think that will happen if Ron has anything to say about it. But he is starting to enjoy animals a bit more. :)

We began thinking about adding (children) to our family. We weren't getting pregnant so we decided to look into adoption. Adoption has been something that I have thought about for awhile, but Ron wasn't quite so sure. I knew that if he wasn't really for adoption, that I would just take that as a sign from God that we weren't to adopt. We did our research and went to a couple of workshops. One of the workshops we went to helped Ron to become interested in adopting.

We looked into both domestic and international adoption. We decided not to go with domestic adoption due to the possibility of birth parents changing their minds about giving up their baby for adoption or wanting the baby back after we've had the baby for awhile. We also realize that there are many children in the US foster care system. I really feel for those kids but we just didn't feel like we could take on those children with all the emotional things they're dealing with. There are also many children from other countries that are without families and live in orphanages. We felt like this was the best option for us and felt led to adopt from China. Either way it's a long process and every family has to decide which option is the best for them.

So we've started the long journey....

Still Waiting.....

2007-03-23T16:36:00.000-04:00

At this point in our adoption process we are still waiting for a referral. We've been LID (which means are paperwork was logged in at the CCAA in China) since 8/3/06, so that makes it 7, almost 8 months that we've been waiting.